Announcer: Some say the table is possessed by the ghost of Evnegaline Lily, it’s LYDIA’S DINING ROOM, with LYDIA HOLLOWAY and BRADLEY NICHOLSON!
(Lydia, confused as to why they’re in the dining room, looks around)
Lydia: Um… Why are we not in the basement?
Bradley (scarfing down raisins): This is a real mystery.
Lydia: Wait… Raisins?
Bradley: RAISINS SOOTH MY NERVES!
Lydia: You know what? This is a little too weird, even for me. You sit back with your raisins, I’ll do the talking.
Bradley: Sure. (Swallows entire jar of raisins)
Lydia: …Eww. Anywaysies, hey-o, audience! Day 3, as we said, was quite the productive day! We have a few more locations, including FINALLY getting Amanda, Sara, and their camera man Peter Parker out of Andover, we have two more cast members to confirm, and we have at the end of today’s broadcast, a question for you all to mull over! So, without further ado, let’s…
(A delivery boy suddenly enters with 777 trucks)
Delivery Boy: Is there a Bradley Nicholson here? We have 777 trucks full of raisins here for you!
Lydia: WHAT THE FU…
Bradley: THEY SOOTH MY NERVES!
(Transition to a plane)
(Sara is in the middle seat, trying to somehow relax, Peter Parker is on the right seat, sweating himself out, and Amanda, on the left seat, is…)
Amanda: AND GIRLS, THEY WANNA HAVE FUN! OH GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN!
(…May have had too many ice cream Sundays at the restaurant)
Sara: A heavy metal concert and a Supernova are having a “Who Can Be Louder?” contest in my head, all the people in the plane are acting like idiots, and my voice is suddenly very grating. Is this what it’s like being Amanda?
(She turns to Amanda)
Sara: I finally understand your pain! And we didn’t even need to freaky Friday to do that!
Amanda: OH, THAT’S OK, WE’LL JUST DO THAT NEXT TIME!
Sara: Ok, wait, what?!
(Amanda starts bouncing on her airplane chair)
Amanda: I’M WITH IKE! I’M WITH IKE! I’M WITH IKE!
(Meanwhile, Peter looks out his window and sees…)
(Willem Dafoe, The Green Goblin from Spider-Man (2002) hanging off the plane wing, sneering)
Willem Dafoe: Pass me some peanuts!
(Freaking out, Peter calls an air stewardess)
Air Stewardess: What seems to be the problem, mild mannered sir?
Peter: There’s a gremlin… Or, well, goblin on the plane’s wing!
Air Stewardess (looking out): That’s not a goblin!
(Peter looks out and sees Dane DeHane as The Green Goblin from The Amazing Spider-Man 2)
Peter: Oh, you’re right, never mind.
Dane DeHane: HEY!
Sara: Pete, my sanity is slipping. Could you signal a stewardess to get me some headphones?
Peter: Sure thing, Sara!
?: That’s ok, you can have mine!
Peter (turning his head to the back, where the voice came from): Thanks, that’s really…
(Peter’s eyes widen as he sees Veronica, the song “Close To You” by The Carpenters starts playing as her face sparkles and angels sing next to her)
Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you
Veronica (while song plays, speaking in “Hot slow-mo”): Here you go…
(Peter opens his mouth…)
(And faints on the seat)
(Sara takes the headphones)
Sara: Thanks, Milo’s second or third mom. Jeez, so many parental substitutes.
(Cavendish, Dakota and Serendipitacely hangglide next to the window)
Cavendish, Dakota and Serend: Word.
(Plane finally lands in Danville, but not of 2017; futuristic buildings and robots stand in the background as Amanda (bouncing around like a lunatic), Sara (fumbling with a map) and Peter (setting up the camera, still looking at a passing Veronica) arrive)
Sara: This map is really sticky!
Amanda (nodding her head like a maniac): I hid all my Mars Bars in it!
Sara: WHAT?! YOU HAD MORE SUGAR?!
Amanda (running off, laughing maniacally): I feel like the queen of the world!
Mr. Drako (dabbing): #Feminism.
Sara (sighing): Well, Peter, do you know?
Peter: Who was that amazing woman? She’s so pretty…
Sara: Peter, she’s out of your league! It’s not like you’re some kind of superhero!
Peter: Yeah! That would never happen!
Zack (playing the trombone): Waa waa waa!
Sara: Will everyone be quiet for a few minutes?! I’m trying to find the shooting location! Bad enough I messed up last time!
Peter: To be fair, it was very rainy. I’ve never seen so much water!
Sara: Unrelated question: How often do you hydrate?
Peter: My Aunt says my pee looks like SpongeBob!
Sara: Yeah. Well, let’s ask this kind gentleman where the Bureau is.
(Sara taps on a gentleman’s shoulder, and he turns around: He wears a white lab coat, his hair is thinning (though not too badly), he wears spectacles that droop over his crooked nose, and he smiles quite politely. He’s around 25 years old)
?: Oh, why, hello! How may I help you, young lady?
Sara: Oh, um, I was just hoping you could tell me and my…
(Peter slips on the ground, almost breaking the camera and Amanda climbs a café, screaming “I’M THE LIZARD QUEEN!”)
Mr. Drako (dabbing once again): #Feminism.
Sara (sighing): …Associates, where the Bureau of Time Travel is.
?: Oh, that’s easy! Straight down the left, you can’t miss it!
Sara: Oh, thank you…
(Suddenly, the man presents a ceramic figure of a harlequin, which actually doesn’t look that terrifying, unlike other similar figures)
?: I hope you’ll accept this as a small gift to a stranger. I do so like to make others happy!
(His smile felt genuine, but there was an odd sort of… Thirst to it. Like he desperately needed approval)
Sara (happily surprised, taking the gift): Wow! Thanks, Mr…
?: Fisk. Doctor Victor Fisk.
(And Fisk leaves, unaware of the part he will one day play in the past and the future)
(Sara then scoops up Amanda and Peter and the trio embark towards B.O.T.T)
(As they finally arrive, one can see that preparations for the shoot are at hand: Camera, lights, grips, makeup artists and extras all hang around)
(Among the crowd one can see a woman in a grey dress, another woman with silver hair, aged 40, a man with balding black hair, a man in a tuxedo with sleek jet black hair, a 10 year old girl with a school uniform like Milo’s and a breakfast burrito, a janitor with a warm smile and a honey blond haired young Englishman)
(A band can be heard tuning their instruments, signaling that this is part of a song sequence)
Sara: Woah! Look at all these potential cast members!
Amanda: I spot 3 men!
Peter Parker: And I spot 3 women!
Mr. Drako (dabbing): #Feminism.
Sara: Will you cut that out?
Richard Chase (dressed like Benedict Arnold): He can’t help it.
Sara: Well, we now know that there could be many actors here, that we have a scene or scenes in B.O.T.T, and that it could be in the future, but we don’t know when.
Amanda: UNLESS YOU FIGURED OUT THE CLUES! OF WHICH THERE ARE MANY IN THIS EDITION! IN FACT, YOU MAY FIND OUT THAT SOME OF THE CHARACTERS IN THIS POST ARE THE SEVEN…
Sara: Shut it!
Norm (All Muscled up): I was asked to kick you out! No one can come inside! No one! Only I can!
(Kicks them out)
(Professor Camelkowski, Victor Verliezer, Derek, King Pistachion, Poofenplotz from “Phineas and Ferb” and Ms. Barrier pass by, Fisk in tow)
All 7: Would you look at that. Children today have no respect for the rules of society.
Sara: Oh well. At least we got SOME info. Now, let’s go to our next location! I believe Danville in the present day is next!
Amanda: YAY! I LOVE THE PRESENT DAY! ESPECIALLY IF WE GET MORE CANDY!
Sara: Amanda, you can’t have more candy! You need to be less stressed, but not like this!
Amanda: AW MAN!
Sara: Look, why don’t we pinkie promise that you’ll never eat this much candy again?
Amanda: OK!
(Sara and Amanda pinkie promise, and suddenly a blinding light flashes)
(They disappear)
Peter: …WHAT THE FUC…
(Back with Lydia and Bradley, the two are about to reveal a press release on two new cast members)
Lydia: Well, that was… Wild.
Bradley: Are they ok?
Lydia: Eh, they’ll be ok in 11 minutes. 45 tops. Now, let’s take a look at the two new cast members!
(Drum roll!)
(Two pictures are revealed)
Lydia: They are Vinnie Dakota, Captain America of the AU and now Ex-Boyfriend of Balthazar Cavendish (portrayed by Dan Povenmire!)…
Bradley (scoffing): Well, anyone could have guessed that he’d be in it!
Lydia: And Ms. Barrier, Head of the Academy and Mr. Block’s arch rival, portrayed by Jane Lynch!
Bradley: What’s that terrible woman doing in this film?
Lydia: Whatever she’s doing, I’m sure it’s not good!
Bradley: Oh, and before we show you the page and word count, a question for all you AU lovers!
Lydia: Who do you think are the members of The Seven Hearts Club?
Bradley: Answer here or in a blog post, and we’ll see who can guess!
Lydia: And here’s a clue: The seven appeared in this Day 3 report!
Lydia and Bradley: See ya next time!