Milo Murphy's Law Wiki
Milo Murphy's Law Wiki
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Googalplex Mall[]

Melissa: I really like the food court. There's something for everyone.

Zack: I know what you mean. (Both sit at a table.) I love the smell of Mango-Mexi-China-Greco-Falafel-Canadian food.

Melissa: (Cell rings: she answers it.) Milo, where are you?

Milo: (several stories below) Hey Melissa, I'm sorry I'm late. (Control for nearby stand sparks) I'll be up in a second. (The shark from the stand 'eats' Milo's phone.) Okay, without my phone, apparently.

Melissa: (shouting down to Milo) No problem, but hurry up though, this is starting to feel like a date.

Zack: (Scoffs) You wish.

(Milo gets in the elevator with Lydia, Coach Nolan, and Scott the Undergrounder.)

Milo: Hey Lydia, Coach, Scott the undergrounder. (Ding, the doors closer and it starts going up.) Funny seeing you here. I mean, not that's it funny for you to be at the mall, but more coincidental that we'd all be on the same elevator. I usually take the stairs. (Thuds and elevator powers off.)

Coach: And you just couldn't take the stairs today, huh?

Lydia: Uh-oh, I'm having feelings.

Scott: We're trapped and the walls are closing in! (Hopping whilst freaking out.) Okay, okay, let me out.

Milo: Uh, Scott?

Scott: (stil freaking out) I gotta get out of here. Let me out.

Milo: Scott, Scott! It's ok, take it easy. Your whole life is confined spaces. You live in a cave.

Scott: (shrieks) Oh that's right. I live in a cave. Yeah. I live in a cave? (Starts freaking out again.) (shrieks) I live in a cave! Why do I live in a cave?

(At the food court)

Melissa: Is Scott doing a rain dance?

Zack: (sighs) Who knows.

In the Murphy's Backgarden, outside the Shed.[]

Dakota: (looking at missing poster for Cavendish) Oh, Cavendish, where are you?

Doof: (Arrives with food) Okay, I got Lunch. We got a large fry, a super-large double-decker hamburger, two milkshakes and (fly buzzing and lands on Dakota's nose), You've got a bug on your face. (Hits it with the 'tray' of food he brought over). Oops, sorry. I forgot I was holding the tray.

Dakota: (pulls the tray off, and is still covered in food) This is my life now.

Doof: And I don't worry, I saved one of the shakes. (slurping) Mmm, delicious and that...Oh and this one's one mine 'cause I...'cause I just drank out of it. (sits down)

Dakota: (clears the rest of the food off) It's not the shake, it's Cavendish. We've looked everywhere, we've done everything. (Stammers) I can't think of anything else. I just wish I knew what he was thinking.

Doof: (imitating Cavendish, whilst attempting to dress as him) Oh, balderdash Dakota, you are worthless as a partner and a human being. (Normal) Does that help? (removes hat). That's uh. That's my best Cavendish, sorry.

Dakota: Thanks, but unless you can actually be Cavendish, I don't think it's gonna help.

Doof: I wish I hadn't spent the money on the costume.

Dakota: (gets up) Wait a minute, maybe that's it. You said it before, what we need to do is get inside his head. You know think like the perp.

Doof: (also stands up) I think I know just exactly what you're looking for. But, you know (Dakota looks mad) first let me finish this shake. (Slurping.) Mmm, mmm.

Dakota: So are you gonna...

Doof: In a minute. (Slurping). Mmm, Mmm.

Googalplex Mall[]

(Elevator)

Milo: (on the phone) Okay. Okay, thanks. (hangs up) Well, they don't think they'll get it working anytime soon. (chuckles nervously) They said it looks like everything that could go wrong, did go wrong.

Coach: (arms folded) Now, why does that sound familiar? (electrical sparking near the phone)

Milo: But, they're sending someone to rescue us. In the meantime we just have to sit tight.

Coach: 'Sit tight'? I'm gonna miss my lassoing class. (mumbling and pacing) This was belt-testing day. I gonna move up from Greenhorn to Buckaroo. Belt had a big-old silver buckle on it and whatnot..

Lydia: (gasps) Ooh, this situation could be good fodder for my improv troop.

Scott: You have a troop? I live by myself in Subterranus (echos) Terranus, terranus, terranus.

Coach: Stop saying 'terranus' at me.

Milo: Hey, look at the bright side. In today's busy world, who has the time to just sit and relax for a while? Just sit down and chat, to get to know some new friends. This could be great.

Coach: I'd rather take my chances with the emergency hatch. Hey, freaky mole man.

Scott: (Whistling whilst looking at Mildred and 3 small milk cartons) Yeah?

Coach: Give me a boost. (Scott gets on his hands and knees, Coach gets on his back, and his bones crack. Scott's legs and back give out).

Milo: You okay?

Coach: Oh, yeah I'm fab.

Milo: Oh, I was talking to Scott.

Scott: Oh no problem, my back is double jointed and my head (taps helmet) has the tensile strength of the mighty guava. You can...(deeper) You can get off now.

In The Murphy's Shed[]

Doof: It's simple. All I had to do was get a sample of Cavendish's DNA and put it inside (Takes of wielding mask) my clonainator.

Dakota: Your clonator?

Doof: Hey man, you wanna get inside Cavendish's head? (whirring, and Doof sets the machine to go with some electrical crackling) I give you (pulls lever up, explosion) Cavendish's head! On a Platypus body. (Cavenpuss steps forward)

Dakota: (jumping back a little) Whoa! What did you do?

Doof: Okay, okay, I can see how on first glance this might appear, you know an abomination.

Dakota: It is an abomination.

Cavenpuss: I can hear you.

Googalplex Mall[]

(Elevator)

Lydia: Okay, the style is film noir. The location is the volcano, and I'm coming to get a haircut. (Inhales sharply.) Go. (in character) Hello Madame, what a dark, creepy volcano salon you have.

Milo: (in character) Why, thank you for coming. Your (points to Coach) hairdresser today is my brother Reginald. Pay no attention to the monkey on his shoulder.

Coach: Man, I don't know what's going on.

Scott: (arms up) I'll be the hairdryer. Whooshy-whooshy-whoo! (places hands on Coach's head in a massage motion)

(Back at the food court)

Melissa: (Slurping)

Zack: So, why does the hairdresser have a monkey on his shoulder?

The Murphy's Backgarden[]

(Doof and Dakota are on sun loungers, whilst Cavenpuss is dipping a teabag in a tea cup)

Dakota: Wait, but why...why a Platypus body?

Doof: Uh, you know long it would take to clone an entire adult human Cavendish? We would've been here all afternoon. This was just easier.

Dakota: But why a Platypus body?

Doof: I already had the Platypus DNA. Look, you wanted to get inside his head, there's his head. Now, get in there.

Dakota: (sighs and turns to Cavenpuss) Okay. So you've got the head and thoughts of Cavendish, so where is he now?

Cavenpuss: I'm not psychic. I mean, I'm 15 minutes old. You're lucky I can even talk.

Doof: Ooh, can you lay eggs?

Cavenpuss: Oh, I hope not.

Dakota: Ignore him, if-if you were going to go rogue, where would you go?

Cavenpuss: I highly doubt that I would (chuckles, makes inverted commas motion) "go rogue." That doesn't sound like me at all.

Doof: Okay, that accent. Is that real or are you're just trying to make us feel inferior? (Dakota shoves him aside) Hold on. (thud as he hits the floor)

Dakota: You went rogue and you disappeared. We have to find you. (Cavenpuss is licking his arm). Okay this is ridiculous and that is an act against nature itself.

Cavenpuss: (Stops licking) Look, fellas, I don't know where your friend is. I don't have all of Cavendish's memories. The lifetime of experiences that make him unique. I only share half his DNA (motions from his neck upwards) and only from here up apparently, but this one was in a hurry. (Doof is still slurping his drink.)

Doof: You're ungrateful.

Dakota: (sighs and sits on the grass) I guess, I have to accept the fact, that I may never see Cavendish again. (Cavenpuss sits next to him)

Cavenpuss: Well, I'm terribly sorry. I am. It's just too bad, you don't know what he was looking for. Then if you found that (chuckles) you'd probably find him.

Dakota: (Gets up suddenly) Of course! Cavendish was looking for proof that he saw a UFO. We need to find that UFO. And you've (Cavenpuss is licking his arm again) got to stop doing that.

Cavenpuss: Oh, leave me alone.

Googalplex Mall[]

(Elevator)

Lydia: And scene. Very nice cockney accent, coach.

Coach: (Cockney accent) Well I did do a little theatre, in the day I did, I did, guv'nor.

Lydia: What next?

Milo: Oh, let's do the two truths, and a lie game. And you know, get to know a little about each other.

(The group sit on different corners of the elevator)

Lydia: Okay. Two truths and a lie. I have a collection of creepy masks, I once ate an entire book, I have incredibly strong fingernails.

Milo: (pondering) Incredibly strong fingernails, huh? Oh, which one is the lie?

Scott: Oh, I know. The lie is that her name isn't really Lydia.

Lydia: Uh, no, my name is Lydia and that wasn't one of your choices.

Milo: Oh, okay, I don't think you ate a book.

Lydia: (sighs) You're right, not a whole one anyway. (Metal clanging and the elevator starts to drop, they all scream. It shortly comes to a stop.)

Milo: Well, at least we stopped, but we're still between floors.

Coach: Okay, that's it. I don't want my last act on Earth to be playing a word game, with two of my PE students and a subterranean vagrant.

Milo: Oh, no. Wait. I know what we can do. Rather than wait around for them to rescue us, we should use our skills to get us out of here.

Coach: What do you mean, our skills?

Milo: (taking a rope out his backpack) I mean, like your burgeoning lassoing skills, Coach. And you too Lydia, your unusually strong fingernails just might be able to pry these doors apart.

Lydia: I'm on it.

Milo: Scott, if your head is as strong as you say it is, we can use it to wedge the doors open.

Scott: (doing a salute) You've got it, Judy.

(Lydia strains to open the door, Scott puts his head in the gap)

Milo: Okay cowboy, see if you can rope us up a rescue. (hands Coach the rope)

Coach: I'll sure as heck give it a try.

(Cowboy Western music, as Coach lassos a nearby cowboy mannequin, he hauls it forward until it gets stuck, he hands the rope ends of Milo and Lydia)

Milo: Good job Coach. Ok everybody, heave! (The three pull the elevator upwards) And heave! And heave! Okay Lydia (Lydia is tying the rope off), tie it off. (Coach, Lydia and Milo cheer)

Coach: Nice work, Milo.

Scott: What are we all cheering about?

Milo: Okay, Lydia you go first. (Lydia gets out the elevator and pulls Milo afterwards. Coach gets stuck coming out, so Lydia and Milo have to pull him through the gap.) Okay, Scott. You're the last one. (Lydia and Milo pull Scott through the elevator and it plummets and crashes, whilst a women gets into the non-broken one. The shot pans to show what happened to the other elevator)

Milo (finally arriving at the food court) Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late.

Zack: Well, it's too bad. You missed lunch.

Melissa: (holding up doggy bag) Don't worry, we saved you some.

Milo: Wow. Thanks guys.

Zack: So, how was your elevator ride?

Milo: (takes bag) It was fun, while you were eating, I got to know some new friends a little better. Hey guys, remember improv session next Tuesday.   

Coach: (heading to the escalator) Wouldn't miss it.

Lydia: (chuckles) You bet.

Scott: I'll have my milk carton to call your milk carton.

The Murphy's Backgarden[]

(Everyone is sitting outside on garden chairs outside of the shed, Doof still drinking his shake, Milo started eating his lunch and Melissa holding Cavenpuss on her lap.)

Zack: So Doof, Dakota, what did you guys do while we were gone?

Dakota: (looking down) Well I figured out that in order to find Cavendish, I need to find a UFO.

Doof: Yeah, and I was told I shouldn't mess with human-platypus cloning.

Melissa: (lifts Cavenpuss up who looks unimpressed) Aw! I think he's kind of cute. (picks up snail) Do you want a snail?

Cavenpuss: I do not.

Melissa: Are you sure? (Cavenpuss looks at the snail) Hmm? Hmm?

Cavenpuss: Well okay, yes. (Takes the snail and eats it) That is marvelous. (everyone laughs)

♪It's my world and -♪

Milo: (cuts through outtro sting) Wait! We know where there's a UFO.

Outside the crashed UFO[]

Dakota: Whoa! How is it nobody else knows about this?

Milo: Well, we know about it.

Melissa: Oh, and Cavendish. He knows about it.

Dakota: Cavendish? (Runs into UFO) Cavendish, Cavendish, are you here. (Spots green light, walks through into the area spotting a frozen Cavendish.) Oh, no! Cavendish, he's in here!

Milo: (He and Melissa join Dakota) Oh, no.

Dakota: Wait, wait. I need something heavy. (picks up monkey wrench and starts hitting the frozen block which breaks)

Cavendish: (Whimpers) Stop! (He collapses on Dakota.)

Dakota: I got you.

Cavendish: (holding onto Dakota) Dakota! The aliens are coming for back and (points towards Milo) they're coming for Milo!

Cavenpuss: Oh no. (pop, egg rolls on floor) Oh, good heavens.

Doof: Ha! You laid an egg, I knew it!


♪It's my world and we're all living it♪

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