Cold open

A Bus Stop

(Scene opens up when Milo is walking to the bus stop, where Zack, Bradley, Chad and Logan stand. As Milo walks in, Bradley and the two students stays away from him, much to Zack's confusion.)
Zack: What's that all about?
Milo: Oh, you're new here. I've got a bit of reputation.
(Zack shows surprise, and then smiles jokingly.)
Zack So what are you, a tough guy?
Milo: Oh, I don't think anyone ever called me "tough". I'm Milo.
Zack: (Shakes Milo's hand) I'm Zack.
(A dramatic sound plays.)
Chad: No Zack! No, no, no, no, no...

(Ignoring their warnings, Zack continues talking with Milo.)
Zack: So what exactly is this reputation?
Milo: Well, people have used the "J-word" but you know what they say, "Sticks and stones can damage your vital oragans so always wear body armor." (Knocks on his chest, which emits a wood-like noise. Hearing this, Zack shows some concern.)
(Melissa comes in.)
Melissa: Hi, Milo.
Milo: Hi, Melissa.
(Melissa looks around herself to see if there is anything dangerous.)
Melissa: I'm just gonna stand back here. (Takes a big step back from Milo)
Milo: Good call!

(Scene zooms out with everyone staying away from Milo except Zack)
Melissa: So Milo, how was your weekend?
Milo: Eventful!
Melissa: Yeah, I bet.
Milo: I got a new scar, wanna see?
Melissa: Sure!
Milo: Ok.
(Milo takes a picture of his scar on his phone, and sends it to Melissa.)
Melissa: Oh cool! That's a good one.
Milo: I know, right?

(Zack begins to worry.)
Zack: Alright, seriously, dude. What's going on here?
Milo: What do you mean?
Zack: I mean... what is all of... this? And what is the "J-word"?
Milo: (Quietly tells Zack) Well, I don't like to say it out loud...
(A sound can be heard and a bungee suddenly falls out from somewhere)
Zack: (Picks it up) Huh, it's one of those heavy duty bungees they use to tie stuff down at construction sites. (Milo wears a helmet) Hey, where did you get the...
(A concrete drainage pipe coming after them. Milo puts a helmet on Zack's head, and both of them run with Zack screaming. Bradley, Melissa and the two students in the bus stop are left.)
Bradley: I bet my pudding pack we don't see them again today.
Melissa: I'll take that action.
Bradley: Really?
Melissa: Yeah, are you kidding? Milo's tough. As a matter of fact, (takes out a pack of snickerdoodle) I'll see your pudding pack and raise you a snickerdoodle... or are you just all talk?
Chad: Woah.
Logan: Tch. She just called you out.

Danville Road

(Cut to Milo and Zack are being chase by the concrete pipe. Zack is screaming)
Zack: Wait, why aren't you screaming?
Milo: I find it doesn't help. Just hurts the larynx. Now hand me that bungee, and you better hang on to my backpack.
Zack: (Screaming) Oka...aaawoowo!
(They swing on a street light, but the bungee breaks, the two fall and end up running on the pipe)
Milo: That bungee was definitely defective.
(Diogee follows them and barks)
Milo: No, Diogee! Go home! Silly dog. (To Zack) He's not supposed to be in the street.
(Zack's screaming when they fall down a hill. The pipe stops running, make them fall into mud)
Milo: (Watching upwards) You might wanna slide over this way a little bit.
(The pipe falls onto them, shoots them up and they hang onto it)
Zack: The "J-word" wouldn't happen to be "Jinx", would it?

(Cue intro.)


On the bus

(Inside the bus. Melissa and Bradley take a seat.)
Bradley: So Melissa, what's up with your boy? I can almost taste that snickerdoodle now.
Melissa: Oh, yeah? Now you want to make it more interesting?
Nick: What are you guys are talking about?
Chad: Melissa's betting that Milo's gonna make it to school and on time.
Nick: I'm in! What's happened so far?
Bradley: Concrete drainage pipe chased him down a hill.
Mort: I got some vegan cheese sticks that says we don't see them 'til after lunch.
Amanda: I got gummy licorice.
Melissa: Alright, alright. Let me get my notepad.

Back at the bus stop

(Cut to the bus stop where Milo and Zack miss the bus.)
Zack: No, no, nonono! Wait, wait, wait! (Stops running) Oh, man. I'm gonna miss my first day at the new school. My parents are gonna flip out!
Milo: Don't worry! My dad always says, "What doesn't kill ya only makes ya late for school." So I don't think we're gonna miss the whole day.
(Diogee follows them and barks, again)
Milo: No! Diogee, run home! I'm going to school. (Diogee goes away) Plus, if we catch the bus at the next stop, we may not even be late. (Takes out his phone) I got the bus route marked on my GP... (his phone's broken) S. It must have gotten wet when we fell in the mud but... fear not! (Takes out a paper map) I've got a backup right here. Paper map! Old school. (The map is taken by an eagle) Huh? Heh. Don't worry! I remember the way. This has happened before!
Zack: This has happened before? This exact thing?!

Oil spill

(They begin running.)
Milo: We'll beat them to the next stop. We'll just have to go through the rock quarry.
Zack: Rock quarry? Sure. What could possibly go wrong? (Cut to the oil spill rock quarry. An employee is preventing them go across)
Employee: Sorry, boys. There's a little oil spill, as you can see. It's quite a mess so nobody's getting through today.
Milo: I think we can still make it across. I brought galoshes.
Zack: I didn't.
Milo: I've got an extra pair. And they're hazmat rated for a level 4 biohazard.
Employee: Well, I don't think...
Milo: Here's a certificate from the EPA. (To Zack) What are you? A nine? Nine and a half?
Employee: Well, it's notarized, so I suppose if you ...
(The eagle appears again, holding the paper map until it is shocked by electricity. It drops the map on the oil spill. The entire oil spill suddenly sets on fire and sets the entire road ablaze)
Milo: ...Maybe we should go through the woods. (Cut to the bus where the students are looking outside to see the fire. Melissa sees Milo and Zack go to the woods)
Melissa: Look! They're safe! They're cutting through Coyote Woods.
Mort: Coyote Woods? What exactly is your definition of safe?
Melissa: Go, Milo!

Coyote Woods

(Cut to the woods. Milo and Zack continue to run)
Zack: So do you even know where we are?
Milo: Yeah, the fire's dried out my phone. We are right in the middle of Coyote Woods.
Zack: Wait, Coyote Woods? I've got a thing about coyotes. They're like big dogs that are dangerous to pet!
Milo: Oh, don't worry. There's no coyote here.
Zack: There aren't?
Milo: No. Actually, the woods were named after actor Peter Coyote.
Zack: Really?
Milo: Yeah! He donated all this land to the city... as a wolf preserve.
(Wolf howl sound)
Zack: You get how that's not better, right?

(Cut to Zack and Milo are being chased by the wolves. Zack screams.)
Milo: Don't worry! Wolves love peanut butter. (Milo throws a PB&J sandwich to the wolves, but one of them throws it back on Zack's back, who screams louder. Milo takes a branch and takes off the sandwich in the back.) Follow me! (They climb up to the tree to escape the wolves.)
Milo: You know, wolves barely ever attack humans.
Zack: Is that true?
Milo: Oh, yeah. Bees are responsible for many more fatalities than wolves every year.
(They look up and see a bee hive right next to them. They try to crawl through the tree, and it starts to flex.)
Milo: (Sees that they are outside the fence) Hey, we're out of the woods!
Zack: (with the bee hive close to his face) What do you mean?!
Milo: We're outside the fence. Just jump!
(They jump down the tree, which shoots the bee hive to the sky. Then it appears to fall onto Zack and Milo, who duck, preparing for that, but it falls in the woods side of the fence.)
Milo: Wow! That was incredibly lucky! The way the day's been going I was pretty sure it was going to come here and...
(Suddenly, something crashes into the fence several times. When the fence finally breaks, it's revealed that the beehive fell onto a wolf and made it angry. Milo and Zack at first are confused by the scene, but when the wolf starts to chase them, they run away. Upon seeing this, Mort and Bradley are surprised.)
Bradley: Are you guys seeing this?
Mort: Yeah! Why is that wolf wearing a turban?
Melissa: Double or nothing? Who's in? (Cut to Zack and Milo who are being chased by the wolf with the bee hive on its head.)
Zack: How many fatalities are blamed on wolves and bees together?
Milo: (Cheerfully smiling) Well, we would be the first.
(They fall into a sewer, the wolf is heard howling away.)

Danville Sewers

Milo: Here you go! (Gives Zack a light) These will help us navigate in the dark.
Zack: Dude, if and when we get outta here, I'm gonna have to go my own way. No offense. I just can't handle all of this.
Milo: All of what?
(A raccoon pauses their conversation, Milo ducks to avoid it.)
Zack: This cyclone of calamity that follows you everywhere you go. How do you live like this?!
Milo: How do you live like that?!
Zack: What do you mean?
Milo: (Stops walking to face Zack) I mean, you want to live like those other kids? They took a bus to school today. A bus! Does that seem like more fun to you?
Zack: (Thinks for a while, then happily agrees) Uhm. Alright. Where to next?
Milo: Well, there's a loose grate up over here to the left. I've been here before.
Zack: Of course you have.

Construction site

(Milo and Zack go out the sewers and walk on a construction site)
Foreman: Alright, I guess we turn the water back on. (A worker obeys pulling a valve. Meanwhile another worker arrives to talk to the foreman.)
Worker: You know we're missing one of those heavy duty bungees that we tie stuff down with. (Cut to the pipe which is missing a part) And also a section of that concrete drainage pipe.
(Water blows up from that pipe. Zack turns to see this, and falls into a wheelbarrow. Milo then push him to escape the water following them. They run on a crane, which breaks and let them fall on a flowing truck)
Worker: Hey, Milo! Is that a new scar?
Milo: Yeah! Thanks for noticing.

Maple Street Bridge

(In the bus, Melissa lists the things that students have bet.)
Melissa: Okay, Chelsea's in for a pack of chips. Sid's up to two pudding packs. I like that confidence, Sid, but you're going down. Mort's down for cheese sticks and an apple, and Bradley is the big spender with a whole vacuum-sealed lunch pack, which I can cover, but I'll have to bring it tomorrow.
Bradley: (Sees Milo and Zack are following them) Huh! Look! There they are! Oh, man, they're gonna beat us to school. (After seeing them flow to the river) Never mind. There they go.
Melissa: Anyone wanna up the ante?
(All the students raise their hands, and Melissa smirks)

(Meanwhile, in the river)
Zack: We should get a way to steer this thing to shore.
Milo: We don't need to. Look! The Maple Street Bridge. Here. I'll give you a boost. (Milo lifts Zack then the wolf attacks them again, but Diogee comes right on time to rescue them. As a result of this, the hive is knocked off of the wolf's head)
Milo: (Petting his dog) Excellent, Diogee! Good boy! (Gives him some dog snack) Here you go. But I do need you to go home, okay? (Diogee swims in the river) Go home! (Diogee swims away) He's not supposed to be in the river.
(The wolf goes to the shore and dries off. A car avoids it and crashes against a water tower)
Zack: You know, I don't know if it's the adrenaline talking, but I'm starting to feel like we can handle anything that comes our way.
(The water tower falls onto the river, make a big wave and flows Zack and Milo to a cliff, where they fall freely)
Zack: Or maybe not anything.
(They end up in an alien spaceship with two aliens inside, one of them points at Zack.) (Cut to the school)
Bradley: Ninety seconds to the bell. There is no way he's making it.
Melissa: Heh. If you're so sure, it's not too late to sweeten the pot.
Bradley: Done. Three jawbreakers and some vitamin C tablets. (Melissa stares at him) What? It's cold and flu season.

Well, this is a surprise

(In the spaceship, Milo and Zack are tied in two alien devices. The aliens are testing some unknown tool.)
Milo: You know, they are from out of town. Maybe they don't even realize they're inconveniencing us.
Zack: (Tries to persuade them, pretend to smile) Uh, guys, guys. Um, I realize you've come a long way. But we really need to get to school.
(Both Milo and Zack smile nervously, and the aliens turn off their tools.)


(At school, there are only few seconds to the bell)
Bradley: Well, Melissa, start passing out the loot.
(Milo and Zack appear from the alien abduction right before the bells ring. The whole class seems to be very surprised)
Milo: Phew! Made it all in one piece. Of course the wolves got my lunch.
Zack: Mine got crushed at the bus stop. Guess we're going hungry.
Melissa: Don't worry. I got you two covered.
(Other students put all the food they bet on Milo's desk)
Milo: Oh, look! A vitamin C tablet. (Zack stares at him.) What? It's cold and flu season.
It's my world and we're all living in it!

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