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Diogee, Go Home!

Diogee often appears in unusual places; when he does, he is usually told to go home.

Occurrences

(Diogee follows them and barks)
Milo: No, Diogee! Go home! Silly dog. (To Zack) He's not supposed to be in the street.
(Diogee follows them and barks, again)
Milo: No! Diogee, run home! I'm going to school. (Diogee goes away)
(Milo lifts Zack then the wolf attacks them again, but Diogee comes right on time to rescue them. As a result of this, the hive is knocked off of the wolf's head)
Milo: (Petting his dog) Excellent, Diogee! Good boy! (Gives him a dog snack) Here you go. But I do need you to go home, okay? (Diogee swims in the river) Go home! (swims away) He's not supposed to be in a river.
Milo: Diogee always knows the way home. Diogee, go home!
(Diogee tries to follow Milo out of his house with a number one foam finger covering his head)
Milo: Oh sorry Diogee, no dogs at the football game. You have to stay home.
(Diogee walks back to the door and rings the doorbell with his foam finger)
Brigette: Come on in.
Milo: Hey, do you mind? (It's revealed the number one fingers in Milo's face are actually Diogee) Oh Diogee, you should go home. He's not supposed to be at the football game.

Diogee is seen at one point being told to go home by a "Tigers" player after he pretends to be the ball.

(Milo knocks over a hospital monitor and the curtain around the next hospital bed, revealing Diogee.) Diogee, go home. He's not supposed to be at the hospital.
(Diogee runs past a distracted Zack onto the stage in an opera Viking helmet)
Milo: Diogee... Go home. (Diogee turns and leaves.)
(A platform rises onto the stage carrying Diogee)
Milo: ♪ Diogee, go home! ♪
(Diogee walks up, stuck in a hard hat)
Milo: Diogee. (Milo shakes him out of the hard hat) How did you get in here?
Martin: Diogee, go home.
(Milo places the hard hat back on his head) Milo: You heard him, boy. on your way.
(Diogee stumbles blindly into the water treatment plant manager on his way out).
(Milo points out Diogee on a high platform above them)
Everyone: Diogee, go home!
(Diogee jumps off the platform and land on the inflatable snowman, launching everyone else back into the water).
Milo: Okay, Diogee. Now you should go home.
(Diogee sniffs the models)
Milo: Diogee, go ho... oh, wait a minute. You are home. Good boy.
Milo: Stay home, Diogee. (Diogee sits) That was easy.
Veronica: Diogee. You're a lot bigger than I remember. (She puts Diogee on the side car) Here you go. Let's take you home.
(In the courtyard Diogee wonders up to the pistachio plant and prepares to pee on it)
Cavendish: Up! Dwup! Yup! No no no no no! Get out of here, you beast!
(Cavendish shoos Diogee away)
Milo: I just wanted to give you back your... (Diogee barks and rolls around on the seats in the back) No, Diogee! You're not supposed to be in the limo. Go on, go home.
(Milo reaches into his backpack just as the limo starts to time-travel; Milo drops his backpack out of the open door, leaving Diogee and the backpack behind. Diogee whimpers, touches the backpack, and leaves.
(Diogee approaches and barks.)
Sara: Diogee Ex Machina Murphy! You get home this instant! (Diogee sits)
Zack: That's weird. He always goes home when you — wait, his middle name is "Ex Machina"?
Milo: Because I never told Diogee to go home. (points toward him, standing above the pistachio plant on a bough)
(Diogee urinates on the plant, destroying it. King Pistachion falls over in pain.)
Milo: See, I read that your particular species of pistachio plant is extremely vulnerable to uric acid, one of the main ingredients of dog pee. And I happen to have the best dog in the world.
(Milo starts to close the door and then notices Diogee)
Milo: Diogee, go home! You know dogs aren't allowed at school!
(Diogee whimpers and walks away while "It's a Sad Dog's Life" plays)
♪ It's a sad dog's life...♪
(Diogee enters, stopping in front of them)
Cavendish: (While pointing at Diogee) Murphy's dog?
Dakota: (Pointing for Diogee) Go home, Diogee. Yeah, he's cute, but he's not the surprise.
(Elliot imagines Diogee's head. It barks. Milo's head reappears.)
Milo's head: Diogee, go home!
(Camera whizzes to Diogee barking at a cat in a tree; the toboggan speeds past and picks him up. Cut to Milo holding him.)
Milo: Diogee, this isn't safe for a dog! Go home!
(Diogee jumps up to the boiler and tugs at it; it dislodges from the toboggan, and Diogee flies majestically toward the Danville skyline. The toboggan comes to a stop).
Milo: See you guys later! (Diogee barks.) No. Stay home, Diogee.
Milo: Diogee, go ho— (Diogee whines and starts sadly to go home) Wait, wait, wait. Diogee, (Diogee stops) do not go home. (Diogee's ears perk up) It's not safe. Stay with us. (Diogee bounds happily into Milo's arms and licks him) Okay, okay! Down, boy! Come on!
(Zack and Milo are fleeing the great snowball. It overtakes and absorbs them. Diogee runs alongside.)
Milo: Diogee, go home! (Diogee crashes into a snowbank and turns round.)
(A cargo ship passes, and Diogee barks.)
Milo: Diogee, go home! (Diogee springs out of the pile of cargo.) He's not supposed to be on a barge.
(From within the whale, Diogee barks.)
Milo: Diogee! I told you to go home. He's not supposed to be in a whale's mouth.
(Scene cuts to Milo, Zack and Melissa waiting for Scott to dress, with Diogee barks and comes later)
Milo: Diogee, go home. (flatly) Oh... I don't care.
(Diogee barks)
Milo: Diogee, go home! You can't come to the ice cream parlor with us. (Diogee whimpers and walks away) Poor Diogee. He never gets to do anything interesting.
(Diogee barks)
Milo: Diogee, no! You're not supposed to be in the mud. Go... (They trip over him and the cake flies off their hands)

The Llama Incident

Main article: Llama Incident (event)

'"The Llama Incident"' was an event in Milo and Melissa's lives that was so insane that they reference it all the time, perhaps because it reminds them of good times and motivates them for the next challenge.

(The train car breaks free from the rest of the train with a bump that sends Zack and Melissa to the floor)
Melissa: Wow! (it's revealed that Milo has strapped himself to a pole with the seat belt) Oh, I get it now.
Milo: I would have had extras. But you know, the llama incident.
Zack: You guys are coming, right? It is my first game as part of the team.
Milo: Oh my Gecko, I would love to. I haven't been in years.
Melissa: Last time he came there was a llama stampede.
Zack: Llama stampede?
Melissa: You know they can spit fifteen feet?
Zack: You keep a record?
Melissa: Yeah, on my phone. The kangaroos, the tangerine fight at Mardi Gras, the asteroid...
Milo: The llama incident.
Milo: But how could you be afraid of rollercoasters? I've seen you walk a tight rope over stampeding llamas.
Milo: Look in my backpack! There should be some knockout gas from the llama incident!
Milo: I'm preparing for all of the above. Plus, electrical fires, building instabilities, or llama stampedes.

Most of the episode is taken up by the event.

Milo goes back to the llama incident with Cavendish and Dakota to distract the Pistachions.

The Marquee

Main article: Jefferson County Middle School Marquee

References to Phineas and Ferb

Main article: Phineas and Ferb

Murphy Sayings

Main article: Murphy Sayings

From time to time, Milo quotes unique spins on common sayings. Sometimes he attributes them to his father.

  • "Going the Extra Milo"
    • "You know what they say: sticks and stones can damage your vital organs, so always wear body armour."
    • "It's like my dad always says: What doesn't kill ya only makes ya late for school."
  • "Sunny Side Up"
    • "Well you know what they say: Whatever breaks our egg, only helps our egg dropping contraption utilize the force of gravity, inertia, and weight distribution better."
  • "Family Vacation"
    • "That's the funny thing about vacation. It's like my dad always says..." — "Nope. I'm not always saying anything today; I'm on vacation".
    • "It's like my dad always says. Family vacations are the only trip you take where you go away to get closer to what you already have."
  • "The Substitute"
    • "Well, it’s just like my dad says: All’s well that ends with a sentient blob making a teacher remember why she loves teaching."
  • "The Math Book"
    • "It's like my dad always says: The only way out is through. A creepy, dark corridor."
    • "My dad always says, "When one door closes, there's usually access through a vent in the roof."
  • "Backward to School Night"
    • "Like my Dad always says: School is a mix of reading, writing and fiery explosions."
  • "The Race"": All of these are from Milo's book Inspirational Shark Mantras.
    • "You guys will have the backpack, and I'll have my motivational mantras, like this one: 'Don't stop swimming, or you'll die.' Or maybe that's just sharks."
    • "You know what they say: 'If everyone's running, they're probably running from you!'"
    • "You can do it, guys! 'The only thing we have to fear is harpoons and feeding frenzies!'"
    • "Come on, guys! 'It's time to go full Megalodon!'"
    • "Nothing can break your bones when you're cartilaginous!"
    • "That's not a seal; that's a surfer!"

"He Shall Be Our Leader!"

Scott the undergrounder is fond of calling random characters "our leader". The other characters notice this.

Scott: Young people from the overland. You shall be our leaders.
Foreman: No no. We have a leader. It's Dave.
Foreman: So, where you kids headed?
Milo: Class trip to the museum. I helped organize it.
Scott: He shall be our leader.
Scott: I shall be the leader!
Foreman: Seriously, Scott.
Milo: Diogee? What are you doing here?
Zack: Please be rescuing us.
Scott: The floppy-eared one shall be our leader!
Melissa: You totally saved us.
Scott: He shall be our leader.
Milo and Foreman: Yeah. He shall.
Scott: I shall return to 'Subterrainus'...terrainus...terrainus. And you will be my leader.
Bradley: Oh sorry, I'm trapped in a rib-cage right now. Interesting tidbit, Stegosaurus ribs are —
Scott: Never mind. (Runs laughing back into the tunnel)
Bradley: He saw something in me.
Melissa: Whatever he saw, he also saw in a dog.
Zack: "The floppy-eared one will be our leader!"

Scott: Yes! I can be our leader! Follow me! As soon as we stop sliding.

Zack: The floppy-eared one will be our leader!
Melissa: I know, right?
Scott: I shall be our leader!

Ms. Murawski and Her Desk

Ms. Murawski has an apparent romantic relationship with her desk she made herself:

Ms. Murawski: Alright, class. Today we are starting on a new physics project. This will test everything you've learned about gravity, inertia, and weight distribution — all things I utilized in making this... (slow jam starts) beautiful desk... Solid oak. Took me the better part of 21 weeks... weeks of solitude. Just... me and... the wood. (Starts caressing her desk) (record scratch) (clears throat) Uh, if you, if uh, if you work hard, some day, you too may own a special desk. Not this one, though; this one's mine.
Ms. Murawski: I cannot emphasize weight distribution enough. Think of my desk. I know I am.
(Melissa puts her hand on the desk)
Mrs. Murawski (age-regressed): (blocks the desk, startling Melissa) My desk!

Boom!

Melissa's favourite exclamation.

Milo: Wow, my backpack sure is heavy today.
Melissa: What you got in there, osmium? (The others look at her questioningly) You know. The densest element? Periodic table. Boom!
Milo: I'll get it.
(Milo reaches down to retrieve the note from the gutter but it is whisked away by the wheels of a passing group of cyclists)
Melissa: Murphy's law. Boom!
Zack: Are you going to be saying that a lot?
Melissa: I'm thinking about it.
Milo: Oh well. Have fun in high school, guys.
Melissa: No! You know the middle school code. No one gets left behind. Boom!
Melissa: Doctor's note. Boom!
Melissa: (grunts) O negative. William Henry Harrison and James Garfield. Boom!
Melissa: Lists don't work! Boom!

Zack: Why is he heating up a salt block?

Melissa: Remember chemistry class? Boom.

Items Taken out of Milo's Backpack

Main article: List of items taken out of Milo's backpack

Llamas

Main article: Llama

Llamas are mammals indigenous to Peru. They are the main culprits in the llama incident.

In "The Llama Incident", Milo tells Zack of the llama incident.

In the year 2000, a man from Boston inherited all the llamas from his uncle Erin's llama farm. He bought a ninety-nine-seat theater in Danville. Fifteen years later he had a whole string of theaters wherein he produced parodies of Broadway shows with his llamas as the cast. Milo and Melissa attend a production of Llamalet. Well into the play, the llama playing Laertes wandered off-stage and tugged a rope holding stage lights up. The lights fell and startled all the llamas in the theater. The llama then stampede off the stage and into the audience. Milo's backpack gets caught on one of the llamas. Melissa and Milo chase the creatures all through town including through a production of Swan Llama, where more llamas join the stampede. The chase leads onto a cargo ship that departs and sails to a glacier. There, Milo finally gets his backpack back. He uses his tee-shirt cannon of knock-out gas to subdue a polar bear. Milo and Melissa manipulate the unconscious bear like a puppet to scare the llamas in the other direction. After employing a dog sled, sea plane and public busses to get back to town, Milo decided to lure the llamas back to their theaters with a bag of pistachios. Then, a huge cylinder of pistachio gelatin falls on Melissa. The llamas then chase her into a Geckos vs. Tigers football game.

In "Missing Milo", they carry a Pistachion to a football game while chasing Melissa who is covered in pistachio gelatin that Balthazar Cavendish and Vinnie Dakota spilled.  

In "Perchance to Sleepwalk", some llamas are seen while Zack and Melissa are chasing after a sleepwalking Milo.

Pistachio Stock Being Destroyed

  • IntroCavendish and Dakota chase a flaming pistachio cart.
  • "The Doctor Zone Files" — Cavendish and Dakota's pistachio stand is blasted sky-high.
  • "Party of Peril" - Cavendish and Dakota chase their burning pistachio stand. It is unknown why it burned.
  • "Smooth Opera-tor" — Cavendish and Dakota inadvertently destroy the pistachio taps at the Danville Opera House.
  • "Worked Day" — Cavendish and Dakota's pistachio-filled truck is magnetically pulled into a hospital, and it is destroyed from the impact.
  • "Secrets and Pies" — A silo containing pistachios under Cavendish and Dakota's watch bursts.
  • "Time Out" — A swordfish attacks the pistachio cart that Dakota is managing; the shipment from Tunisia is exploded by a scuba tank.
  • "Murphy's Lard" — A flaming pig destroys a pistachio stand at Lard World.
  • "The Little Engine That Couldn't" — A runaway fire engine runs over Cavendish and Dakota's tandem bike which was carrying a shipment.
  • "The Llama Incident" — Cavendish and Dakota lose their pistachio gelatin to llamas.
  • "Missing Milo" — Diogee urinates on and destroys the pistachio plant that would later become King Pistachion.
  • "Perchance to Sleepwalk" — Cavendish and Dakota try purposefully to destroy certain pistachio trees. After trying and failing to lure red-beaked crows to them, they hack away at them with axes.
  • "The Race" — Cavendish and Dakota crash into Brick's and Savannah's pistachio cart.

People Thinking Kyle Drako Is a Vampire

Karma

Main article: Karma

Murphy's Law

Main article: Murphy's Law

References to the Lumberzacks

Main article: The Lumberzacks

S.S. Indulgence

Main article: S.S. Indulgence

The S.S. Indulgence was a yacht that the school board wasted a lot of money on. It is referenced a few times as the reason to certain losses at the school:

  • In "Athledecamathalon", it is revealed that the Scholastic Decathlon and the Athletic Decathlon have been joined together into one event, due to budget cuts because of the lack of funding since the purchase of the S.S. Indulgence.
  • The yacht was shown again in "The Math Book", and Principal Milder states it is the reason for the lack of lights.
  • The yacht gets a full appearance in "Some Like it Yacht", where students and faculty of Jefferson County Middle School ride it before it crashes into an unknown island.

Zack's Fear of Fish out of Water

"Thinkin' About It."

Melissa: Murphy's Law! Boom!
Zack: Are you going to be saying that a lot?
Melissa: I'm thinkin' about it.
Milo: (Speaking in a deep voice) Now everything's cool.
Melissa: Are you going to continue talking like that?
Milo: I'm thinkin' about it.

I know, right?

Scott: I have returned to the above world to witness this competition but....I must admit I was expecting two separate events. One scholastic, one athletic.
Melissa: I know, right?
Zack: With her, there's always a Doctor Zone connection.
Melissa: I know, right?
Zack: The floppy-eared one will be our leader!
Melissa: I know, right?

The Yes-Man

Occasionally, two men are shown conversing. One man speaks, but the other ("the yes-man") only ever echoes or affirms what the first says.

First construction worker: Would you take a look at this boulder I dug up? The thing's perfectly round!
Second construction worker: Yeah, round.
First construction worker: I mean, it's like a big marble!
Second construction worker: Smooth!
First construction worker: If this thing ever got rolling, it would never stop!
Second construction worker: Never stop.
(The seagull perches on a lever in the backhoe, which sets the perfectly round boulder rolling.)
First construction worker: I shouldn't have left the engine running.
Second construction worker: Nope. Shouldn't have.
(The pair of men move to set up on the slope, but a bolt pops out of the metal strip.)
First man: That silly bolt popped right out of there!
Second man: Yeah, right out.
First man: There's only one more bolt holding that thing in!
Second man: Yup, just one.
First man: If that other bolt popped out of there, this metal sheet'll roll up like a big spool!
Second man: Yup, a spool.
(The other bolt pops out, and the metal strip begins to spool.)
First man: Probably should've told somebody or done somethin' about it instead of standing here yappin'.
Second man: Yup, probably.

Cavendish: What we need is a working time vehicle. If we can go back in time, we can stop this before it ever started!

Dakota: Yeah, before it started.

Cavendish: We can save all of them!

Dakota: Yeah, we can save all of them!

Falling Fans

(a ceiling fan falls from the roof and crashes down right next to Milo)
Milo: No worries, Insurance will cover it!
(ceiling fan falls from ceiling, but Milo pulls out a raft form his backpack and covers him and Doofenshmirtz from the fan)

Doofenshmirtz: Hey, that must be your bad because if it was Heinz Law, it would've hit me right on..

(another ceiling fan falls and hits Doofenshmirtz on his head)

Doofenshmirtz: See? See, like that.

(yet, another ceiling fan falls on Doofenshmirtz's head)

Doofenshmirtz: Okay, now it's not believable.

(another fan falls on Doofenshmirtz's head)

Doofenshmirtz: Seriously, how many ceiling fans are in that one spot?
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