Outside the Murphy's House.[]
Zack: (As he and Melissa walk to the front door) So, if all we're doing is picking up Milo, why do we have to get here an hour early? (Tries the door handle which snaps off) Oh, I see.
Melissa: (smacks lips)
Zack: (pointing towards Melissa) Don't say "boom". (looks up) Hey, Milo, get your backpack down here, we're wasting daylight!
(Milo opens the blinds of his room, but they end up just crashing down instead.
Milo: (muffled) Be down in a minute.
Zack: What?
Milo: (after some struggling opens his bedroom window and falls over as it does, he gets up instantly) (muffled) Be down in a minute (clears throat) I said, be down in a minute. (crash and Milo screams) (off screen) Maybe a minute and a half.
Zack: (he and Melissa look to each other) Don't suppose you brought a deck of cards.
Somewhere in Danville Woods.[]
(Cavendish is recording himself for reports.)
Cavendish: Balthazar T Cavendish, field report 106. It's been several...(Groans as leaf gets in his way, he pushes it aside) It's been several days since I went rogue and left the agency, and I think, at long last, I'm on the verge of a breakthrough. The unusual heat signature pattern that I've been following seems to be getting stronger. I feel the alien ship is very near and I...(honey lands on his shoulder, he attempts to get it off) What the...Oh thank, goodness it's just honey. (laughs) That could have been a huge disaster. (Sniffing a bear comes up behind him, it slurps and Cavendish takes off running screaming as he does, the bear growing as it runs after him, he gets taken out by a bush, the camera goes off before resuming, bear slurping and Cavendish giggling as it licks the honey off him.) Stop it, stop it. No seriously. (Camera cuts off again.)
(Camera on again)
Cavendish: (walking) Balthazar T Cavendish, field report 117. As luck would have it, an unpleasant incident concerning unsolicited honey and a rather ravenous bear, lead me directly to that which I have sought. (stops in front of a crash Alien ship) At long last, I have found the alien ship. (Normal shot) And with this as poof, I will surely open the eyes of the public to the danger of the alien presence among us. (phone beeps and he puts it away, before walking off, the ship buzzes as it's cloak goes on and off)
Robot Voice from inside the ship: (As console displays a 'cloaking malfunction message) Cloaking malfunction, cloaking malfunction, cloaking malf...(crackles)
The Diner Downtown.[]
Dakota: It's just with Cavendish gone and everything, I don't know what to do with my time.
(Inside it's revealed he and Doof are cleaning up a massive mess that they made.)
Doof: (Dropping rubbish into an already over flowing trash can) Yeah, I know how you feel.
Dakota: Yeah, so anyway, I was wondering if you'd like to work with me. You know looking for Cavendish.
Doof: (As he and Dakota leave) Hmm, helping, finding, sounds like things a good guy would do, right? I'm in.
Dakota: Fantastic. (He and Doof got the door)
Doof: (walks back in) Oh, and sorry again about the mess, inators they're so volatile, am I right?
Milo's bedroom[]
(Milo grabs his backpack, before hitting his head on his bed, which creaks, Milo relaxes for a second, before the bed collapses on him. Milo uses a car jack to start lifting it)
Outside the Murphy's House.[]
(Melissa is now leaning against the wall, whilst Zack is stood up straight)
Milo: (Off camera) Hold on, almost there.
Melissa: Got any games on your phone?
Zack: (passes Melissa his phone) Read, 'em and weep.
Melissa: (takes phone) Why would I weep? (Starts playing a game on Zack's phone) Because I feel so sorry for you when I double your high score?
Zack: Talk is cheap, but I got the high score in the game regionally.
Melissa: (shows Zack his phone.) Hah! Boom! (victory tune plays on phone.)
Zack: What, how did you do tha..(pushes the phone down) Teach me.
DNN[]
Security Guard: Sir, sir you can't go in there!
Cavendish: (slams the door open)
Security Guard: I'm sorry, Mrs Jamison.
Cavendish: (As he walks into the room) I'm sorry for the interruption, but I have a breaking news story, that simply must see (Shows a pictures of himself in front of the crashed ship.)
Mrs Jamison: Yes, and I have an app to puts (lifts her phone up) an armadillo on every picture. Christine! (Christine shoves the door open, panting) Get this guy outta here. (Christine kicks Cavendish out, literally.)
Cavendish: (Gets up, whilst a guy is filling a van behind him) Ugh, beans on toast. (Notices the guy behind him) You there, boy, grab that van and come with me. And prepare yourself for the scoop of the century. (Shows the guy his phone and walks past him to the front of the van)
V.Guy: Yeah! Promotion! (follows Cavendish) Not bad for my first day on the loading dock.
Woods outside Danville.[]
(Cavendish is leading V Guy through the bushes)
Cavendish: (whispering) It's right this way. If this leads the news at 5 and 11, I'm hoping it will raise the alarm about the alien invasion. (Crackling as the ship's cloak activates again. V Guy emerges from the bushes holding a camera.) Well, what do you think?
V Guy: (Looking around) Yeah, (hesitatingly) Uh, what am I supposed to be looking at exactly?
Cavendish: (Unaware the ship is hidden) The giant spacecraft directly behind me, you numpty.
V Guy: How come, everytime, I steal a news van with a guy in a top-hat he ends up being a total nutcase? (leaves back through the bushes) Bogus. (Buzzing as the ship reappears, Cavendish looks to it)
Dakota and Cavendish (former)'s office in the Strip Mall.[]
Dakota: So, this is the last place, I saw Cavendish. (It's revealed he and Doof are inside the office) Let's look around for some clues. (opens locker)
Doof: You mean, clues like he got a secret life? (looking through paper work) Or like, he's royalty, part-monkey or, or both. Like all the other royals. (Ends up with all the paper on the floor) Ooh! A sledgehammer. (picks up and strains as he does, he loses his footing and ends up making a hole with it in the wall)
Dakota: Just be careful this place is a rental.
Doof: (strains as he pulls the sledgehammer out, only to put it through the adjacent wall) Eh, well, he's not here. (lets go of sledgehammer) Break time? (The sledgehammer falls through the wall, clanging as it hits the ground)
Man: Hey, look, free wall hammer.
Murphy's front garden[]
(Zack and Melissa have moved onto a guessing game)
Melissa: US President, uh, beard, snow pipe hat...
Zack: (guessing with his phone on his head) Abraham Lincoln.
Melissa: No. Skip it.
Zack: There was another president with...
Melissa: No time! Next (beep as it changes to the next one) (stammering) It was the thing in that one movie with that guy.
Zack: The other dimensionator?
Melissa: Yes. (Beep as Zack changes again) Next one. Okay, this is something that oozes from your body, but it's not all that unpleasant.
Zack: Uh..
In Milo's room.[]
(He goes for the door, as the pin from the fire extinguisher clinks off, sets the fire extinguisher off, which flies round the room, out through the ceiling knocking boards that block the door. Milo tries the door anyway.)
Murphy's front garden[]
Zack: Um..(the fire extinguisher lands between him and Melissa, before it spurts more of its load over Zack) Murphy's Law.
Melissa: Yup. Next.
Forest Outside of Danville.[]
(Cavendish is leading a Radio DJ to the ship)
Cavendish: It's right over here. This could be the biggest radio broadcast since War of the Words.
Papa Mike: War of the...stand by. (Into his mic) All right, 10:45, 15 minutes before the hour and you're on the
(sound effects) Pa-Pa-Papa Mike Show
(boys voice) 'you can smell it',
baby wailing,
♪ Papa Mike on the radio.♪
(Growly voice) Lock it in and turn it up.
(female voice) Listen to your mother.
Papa Mike: And I'm coming to all you crazy critters out there from the Danville forest. (Monkey chattering sound effect) Where our boy Balthazar Cavendish has promised to show us an actual UFO. (rock music from the stereo) But first, he's a blast from the past, one of my favourite by Pile of Clouds, Jeherrozod. (turns mic off) Okay, show me what you got.
Cavendish: (walking towards the ship) Oh, yes, well its...step through here and prepare to be ama...(realises the ship is gone) Oh! It was right here. I swear it.
(Sad trombone music)
(The ship crackles as it reappears)
Cavendish: (gasps) There! There! Turn around, my good man and prepare to be astonished. (The guy turns round as the ship crackles back to being invisible)
Papa Mike: (Sarcastic) Uh, yes. It's a lovely UFO sir. You must be very proud.
Cavendish: (Not picking up the sarcasm) Oh, my thank you. I'm just pleased that..(realises) Oh wait. That was sarcasm wasn't it. (turns round) Ugh! Of course it's vanished. (walks over to the 'empty' crater) Where the devil did it go? It (groans as he walks into the invisible ship) Ow. (clanging as he feels out where the ship is) Yes. Oh. Here it is. It's here! Look. Must be a cloaking device of some sort.
Papa Mike(off camera) You know, miming doesn't work on the radio.
Slushy Dawg[]
Doof: So, you two hung out here alot, or what?
(Doof and Dakota are sitting outside with a whole load of food rubbish)
Dakota: Sometimes, but we never ate this much.
Doof: So, you're missing friend, maybe we need to get into his mindset you know, think like the perp.
Dakota: Hey, he's not a perp. He's my pa-
Doof: (now standing to Dakota's left) You know what I mean. What was he like? (fixes his hair) Was he a wily unpredictable ladies man who plays by his own rules? (changes his hair again walking to Dakota's other side) Or maybe a down on his luck gambler, who plays by his own rules? Or (stammering as he fixes his hair again) a straight arrow rule follower, who plays by his own rules?
Dakota: Uh, that last one.
Doof: (puts his hair back to normal) See, I'm getting into his head already. (walks back to his side of the table.) I am Claventree.
Dakota: 'Cavendish.'
Doof: (Ignoring the correction) and I play by own rules!
Dakota: I don't think we're making any progress here. All we've done is eat. Like, five lunches already today.
Doof: (turning round and pointing) Hey, the third one was your idea.
Dakota: (gets up approaching Doof, annoyed) Yeah, but you're supposed to stop me. When I have a dumb idea, I expect my 'partner' to call me on it and steer me towards something less self-destructive.
Doof: Whoa! Whoa! Hold on there, buddy. A partner is supposed to fly through the window and hit you with his tail. Atleast, that's what Perryy the Platypus did.
Dakota: Well, that's not what Cavendish did.
Doof: (Exclaims in despair) If he was such a great partner, why did you kick him out?
Dakota: (reaching his limit) I didn't! He left! Haven't you heard anything I said?
Doof: (rubs his temple) That's all I have done all day, is hear you say things in that annoying, nasal tone!
Dakota: (offended) Oh, you're one to talk! Your voice sounds like a screech owl being dragged under a cement mixer!
Doof: (angry) You don't know what that sounds like!
Dakota: Yes I do, it sounds just like you!
Doof: All right, that's it! (Both men storm off in opposite directions, only for Doof to come back and eat Dakota's unfinished sandwich before storming off again.)
Dakota: (briefly returns) That was mine! (He leaves again.)
Doof: (also briefly returns) I know!!!
In Milo's Room.[]
He's set an accordion like object on a stool, and inflates it with an air compressor, he pulls a cord and the object springs up as it lets the air out, pushing the planks out of the way.
Milo: Yeah! (He falls through the floor) Aw, come on!
Danville Forest[]
(Recurring Raccoon scouts out the ship)
♪ You've seen him before,
You're gonna see him soon,
He's Recurring Raccoon,
He's Recurring Raccoon.♪
(Recurring Raccoon manages to get into the ship, a fly buzzes and lands on a joystick, Recurring Raccoon pulls it down and the engine starts, he goes straight up)
Cavendish (coming through the bushes) Right this way for scoop of the century. (It's revealed he's with a Newspaper Reporter) An alien ship. Doesn't look like much because it's cloaked.
Newspaper Reporter: Are you messing with me?
Cavendish: (walking over to the crater) No! No, no, no. It's here. (starts climbing tree) Heh. I'll show you. If it wasn't here could I do this? Ta-Da (throws himself off the tree branch, and lands face first. (Bird chatter, and the reporter takes a photo before leaving annoyed)
Newspaper Reporter: Just because I'm a newspaper reporter, does not mean I'm a joke. We used to be the world's only source of news you know? (Leaves) (under breath) Nutcase.
Cavendish: (Managed to get up worse for wear and move as the ship comes back down) (in awe) It's back. (door whooshes at opens) A door. If I can't the people to the saucer, I'll take the saucer to the people. (walks towards the ship) I'm coming in! Prepare to be boarded. (Falls into the ship, grunting in a pain as he hits the ground, Recurring Raccoon is in a large chair in the back. Cavendish hauls himself back to his feet.) Hmmm, it appears to have been on autopilot. Let's see. (He presses a button that beeps, a large extending tube hits him, he presses another two arms with metal grips come out and whirl him around, he exclaims in pain, before stopping. He presses another button, the camera moves to Recurring Raccoon, before fire is heard off screen, a machine blows up and powers off) Ow! (machine breaks down, glass shatters as Recurring Raccoon straps himself in. Camera moves to Cavendish who pulls the same lever Recurring Raccoon did and the engine starts, it shoots him and Recurring Raccoon up at speed, before stopping at height and whizzing around, uncontrolled throwing Cavendish around, the ship lands on it's back and bounces heavily, before righting and flying off again)
Slushy Dawg[]
Dakota: (groaning) Oh!
Doof: (groaning) Ah!
(It's revealed Dakota and Doof have clearly eaten alot more, Doof is laying on a table)
Dakota: Hey, look, I am sorry for what I said earlier. I was just...I was bloated and upset and...(sighs sadly) I was wrong.
Doof: You know I've had alot of time to think, while I was lying here groaning and I realised something.
Dakota: The human body is a disgusting thing?
Doof: Well that, yes, but, but, it's also..it's not fair to expect anyone to measure upto someone from your past.
Dakota: You're right. You gotta accept people for who they are.
Doof: (sits up on the table before getting off it) Anyhow, you know, I'll still help you look for your friend (Dakota gets up too) if you want.
Dakota: Thanks. Hey, you wanna grab one more Slushy Dawg for the road?
Doof: Yeah, I think I have more feeling to eat.
Outside the Murphy's House.[]
(Zack and Melissa have moved onto another game, Hot Hands.)
Zack: (As Melissa slaps) Ow.
Milo: (off screen) Here I come! (Both Melissa and Zack look up, whilst Zack is distract Melissa slaps his hands again)
Zack: Ow.
(A chair flies through Milo's window, and Milo jumps through the window, with a hard hat on, he tries a rope round his waist before grappling down, he jumps down next to Melissa and Zack)
Melissa: Boy, someone knows how to make an entrance. (The Alien Ship whizzes by knocking Milo's room off the building onto Melissa, Zack and Milo on the front garden)
Zack: And now we're all in your room.
On The Ship[]
Cavendish: (nervously) It won't stop! Nothing will stop it. (Pulls a joystick off) I've tried everything except...(Recurring Raccoon comes over, pulls the first joystick as well as another and the ship descends, lands and the engines power off) Don't look at me like that. You just got lucky. (Recurring Raccoon pushes a button which ejects Cavendish) (Screams as he's flung off)
On the Murphy's Front Garden/Milo's Room.[]
(The sun is now setting, crickets chirp)
Milo: So...you guys wanna just hang out in my room today?
♪ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ♪