Danville Motor Speedway[]
(Zack, Melissa, Milo are walking through the stands with food, while Martin and Brigette follow.)
Zack: Wow, Mr. and Mrs. Murphy, I can't believe you organised this whole race.
Milo: (The group stop walking.) And all the money goes to a new shelter for all the stray Ilamas in town.
Martin: You know our slogan. 'When you spend a dollar it helps a llama.' I know it doesn't technically rhyme, but it's still catchy.
Brigette: On that note, honey we have to get down to the concession booth. (Puts a hand on Martin's shoulder.)
Martin: Oh, that's right. Those Llama plushies won't sell themselves.
Brigette: Well, except for Brohama the talking sales llama, he actually can sell himself. (Moves up a Llama plush with Martin presses the button on the ear of.)
Brohama Plush: Get a llama for your mama.
Melissa: Oh, he's good.
Brigette: And that actually does rhyme.
Martin: Okay (turns to leave) We better go (His phone starts ringing, so he pulls it out.) Ah, it's Doof (Answers.) Yello!
Doof (on the phone) Oh, hi Martin. I just wanted to found out, that yellow liquid in the refrigerator, is it shampoo?
Martin: No Doof, it's not shampoo.
Doof: 'Cause it tastes like shampoo.
Martin: How would know what shampoo tastes like?
Doof: I usually shower with my mouth open, things happen.
Martin: It's lemonade.
Doof: Oh good, 'cause I finished it.
Martin: (unimpressed) Okay, that's goodbye. (hangs up) Why is he living with us again? (He and Brigette leave)
Brigette: (Offscreen) I don't know, its convoluted.
Zack: (As he, Melissa and Milo head upstairs) Wow! I can't believe we're gonna sit in the sky box. That is totally steep. I mean literally, the stairs to the box are sharply inclined.
Melissa: It's so great that all these famous race car drivers wanted to help out.
Milo: You'd be surprised by the amount of llama awareness there is in the stock car community.
Llama Relief Fund Ad.[]
Joey Logano: (in stock car) I am Llama
Ty Dillon: (in stands) I am Llama
Erik Jones, William Byron, Ricky Stenhouse Jr: (in a garage around their cars) We are Llama.
Announcer: So support the Llama relief fund. The change you give will change their lives, but not that much because you know, they're llamas.
Danville Motor Speedway[]
(Milo, Melissa and Zack finally made it to stand. Elliot comes across making Zack drop his drink)
Elliot: Stop, (turns sign round) Milo. You cannot be in this stadium. You are danger, a hazard, a menace, a peril and several other synonyms.
Zack: Back off Elliott, Milo has much right to be here as anyone.
Melissa: More, his Mom organized this.
Milo: Besides I can't leave. It's Diogee's first race. (Camera pans to Diogee where several phone fingers and a racing outfit)
Diogee: (Panting)
(Back to Milo, Melissa, Zack and Elliott)
Elliot: Well, I wouldn't wanna disappoint a dog.
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, racing legend, Rusty Wallace
Rusty Wallace: Welcome to the first ever Llama Race-O-Rama. Are you ready to save some Llamas?
Man: Save them from what? What happened to the Llamas.
Rusty: Great! To the start the race, the safety car will lead the drivers on the warm-up lap. (Driver of the safety car gets out and waves) And one lucky member of the audience will now be chosen to ride along. (digging through a barrel with loads of yellow tickets)
Stands[]
Elliott: Ride in the safety car? The car whose whole purpose is safety. (Chuckling) Oh, please, let it be me. Oh, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please!
Track Line[]
Rusty: (pulls out yellow ticket) And the winner is, Milo Murphy.
Sky Box[]
Milo: (In the sky box gets up with ketchup and hotdog in hand, accidentally squirts ketchup in Melissa's direction and misses her) Hey, that's me! Unless there's another Milo. (on tannoy) Is there another Milo Murphy here?
Crowd: No!
Milo: Woohoo (squirts Ketchup again, runs to leave the booth with the hotdog and ketchup in hand)
Melissa: Milo in the safety car, that's ironic.
(Milo runs past Elliott)
Elliot: Oh, I wanted that so bad. (Milo stops and turns back before continuing on slower, he arrives at the start/finish line and takes the Microphone from Rusty)
Track Line[]
Milo: Actually, I know someone who wants this alot more than me. (Turns to the crowd) So, I'm giving my ticket to Elliot Decker.
Rusty: Wow! That's awful nice of you. Elliot Decker, you're riding in the safety car. Come on down.
Elliot: (laughs excitedly as he runs down the stairs, before proceeding to go the wrong way) Wait, hold on. I got it, I got it. (Climbs back up before running again) Woo-hoo (arrives down at the start finish line)
Rusty: Okay, then. Let's just get a picture of you and Milo in front the of safety car.
Elliot: (runs up to the safety car) Ah! Wait, do you want a profile or should I cheat out a little to the left? (lays on the car bonnet) Oh, how about '80s music video style?
Rusty: That, uh great. (Milo goes to eat hotdog) Milo, why don't you just get on the other side. (Seagull squawks as it steals Milo's hotdog)
Milo: Hey, my hot dog.
Elliot: Uh, that's just as well. When eaten improperly it can be a choking hazard.
(Cut to the seagull who gets into a fight with another seagull and they drop the hotdog).)
Somewhere in Danville[]
Sergio McGuinness: (In snowflyer 3 still being chased by policemen) You'll never get me in a million years! This thing's been going for weeks. (hot dog lands on the snowflyer 3) A hot dog? Perfect, (opens glass roof to get hotdog) I'm starving. (As he eats it, Snowflyer 3, goes up a hill and is sent airborne, it flies over a Swampy Marshmallows sign and sets the marshmallow alight. It crashes down and the engine flies towards the Danville Motor Speedway.)
Danville Motor Speedway[]
(Elliot and Milo are now in the Safety car, having their photo taken)
Rusty: Okay, guys. It's time to bring in the pace car driver.
Elliot: Safety car.
Rusty: Well, it's also called the pace car.
Elliot: Safety car. (Rocket is heard, it crashes into the back of the Safety car making it's tires screech as it rockets off)
Pace Car Driver: Hey, my lunch is in there!
Elliot: This is all your fault. You have violated the sanctity of the safety car which I wouldn't even been in if it hadn't been for your generosity. So I'm thanks, but I'm still angry. I'm so conflicted
Joey Logan: (Puts on helmet) Well (gets in car as do the other drivers) the pace car is going, I guess we ought to get started. (the drivers start following)
(Elliot zig zags the car, which the racing drivers copy)
Mike Joy: Ladies and gentlemen, this is crazy. It's bizarre, it's erratic, it's several other synonyms. I've never seen anything like this. Maybe it's because I'm wearing these crazy glasses. (in the skybox takes off his glasses) Whoa! The race is weird, too.
(A metal fence has it's screws come loose, it falls and makes a ramp)
Elliot: Oh!
Elliot and Milo: (As Elliot takes the car over the ramp) Ahhh! (it goes through a wall and lands in the parking lot still running)
Rusty Wallace: This is the wildest warm-up lap, I've ever taken. (Cars follow over the ramp)
Mike Joy: (stands up) Well, no cars, no blah-blah-blah (turns to leave)
Zack: (gets up) But you can't just leave.
Mike Joy: (turns back, Melissa has also gotten up) You're right! My goggles (grabs them and puts them back on, heads to leave walking into the wall as he does so) Oh. Excuse me, ma'am. By the way, you feel like a wall. You should have that checked)
(Crowd boos)
Zack: Oh, this is not good. Now everyone's gonna ask for their money back and then they won't be able to build the llama shelter! And there will be llamas roaming the streets.
Woman in crowd: I want my money back!
Man in crowd: Let the Llamas roam the streets.
Zack: We've got to do something! I'm gonna announce the race.
Melissa: But you can't see the race!
Zack: (squints) I can sort of see the race. And I'm gonna announce the heck out of what I sorta can see. (Into Mic) Ladies and gentlemen, and the racers are driving down the street and they're passing some sort of shop. Maybe a market, could be a carwash! Hard to tell from this distance and one of the drivers is pulling over to the si...no that's a delivery truck. And now they're passing behind a big sign, and I can't see them. (Melissa backs away) and I still can't see them. And I still can't see them.
Man: (As people are throwing food and other things at the booth) You're a sub-standard announcer.
Melissa: I don't think you should leave this booth for a while.
Zack: You got any better ideas?
Melissa: (moving to the laptop) I could tap into the video feed from the Lard World blimp. (drags blimp icon into a rectangle on screen)
Zack: Oh, you can do that? That would have been nice information to share earlier. (video footage appears on screen) and they're coming around the turn at 5th and main, and the red car is trying to make his move on the blue car with the dent and blue shuts him out. (Elliot zig zags again) Incredible driving by the blue car with the dent.
Back in the Safety/Pace car[]
Elliot: Okay, Elliot, remember, control, control, control (whimpers). (Drives across the river under a bridge before driving onto a road the other side, Elliott whimpers the entire time, the side on a log across an empty channel, through a construction sign onto an unfinished road, landing on the other side, tip a milk truck in the air, which the milk bottles hit the Lard World Blimp, which spills milk over the camera)
Danville Motor Speedway[]
(The live feed cuts off, the crowd boos, and food throwing restarts)
Zack: Oh, come on!
Back in the Safety/Pace car[]
Milo: Sorry, Elliot, but I think we're stuck in here until that rocket burns out. We might as well relax and enjoy the ride.
Elliot: Enjoy the ride? Enjoy the ride? You know what enjoying the ride leads to?
Milo: Fun?
Elliot: Danger! And I will not be taking any suggestion from a Murphy.
Milo: (pointing) Turn left!
Elliot: I just said I'm taking any...(notices the brick wall) Okay, turning! (turns right) Phew! Thanks for that.
Milo: You just turned right.
Elliot: (screaming as the car plunges down a cliff)
Danville Motor Speedway[]
Zack: This is crazy. Where are they getting all this stuff?
Bradley: (on the stairs nearby with rotten food) Get your expired vegetables to throw at lame announcers!
Zack: We gotta get that video feed back up.
Melissa: They were headed down Broadway. (gets up) That's where that new hipster donut shop is!
Zack: If you want a donut I'm pretty sure there's one stuck to the window.
Melissa: (Typing) No, the shop has a webcam! (manages to get the footage back up again, the crowd cheer and Melissa continues to hack different places for footage including a bank)
Song: Safety Car
♪If you're in a motor sporting event,
And you've already got your parents' consent
You need a vehicle that's gonna prevent
Any unnecessary accident
To protect the other cars in the race
There's only one that's gonna liven the pace♪
(as they drive through a go kart track)
Erik Jones: Keep at it kids, you'll have our jobs in no time
William Byron: Hey speak for yourself, Jones.
(They crash through the end fence, into Lard World onto Greased Thunder)
♪Come on!
Whoo!♪
(They head through a construction site into the underground)
♪Safety car, safety car,
If you ain't following me, you don't know where you are
You better keep me in your sights or you will start to lapse
Look me up right before you see the yellow flag
If you wanna put a trophy up there on your shelf
You better check yourself before you wreck yourself♪
(Drives past Scott in the sewer who has a painting of the sistine chapel's ceiling)
Scott: Hey, I just painted that!
(They come upto a under construction sign for the underground, Elliot screams, they fly off the outside ramp)
Ricky Stenhouse Jr: Uh, should we slow down here?
Joey Logan: Who are you? And what have you done with Ricky Stenhouse Jr?
Ricky Stenhouse Jr: You're right. What was I thinking?
(They speed up and ride a UFO like a spinning top, forcing it towards the bridge before getting off, it crashes into the river and they continue zigzagging)
Milo: Whoo-hoo
Elliot: You think this is fun?
Milo: Yeah! We went on a roller coaster, we went underground and we spun a UFO like it was a top.
Elliot: We did?
Milo: And I think we're gonna do it again. (U-Turn sign)
Elliot: Whoo-hoo!
♪S-A-F-E-T-Y C-A-R
Safety car, safety car
S-A-F-E-T-Y C-A-R
Safety car, safety car♪
Elliot: (whimpers)
Milo: Are you laughing or crying?
Elliot: I don't know.
(They manage to drive back off another ramp into the stadium, the rocket falls off)
Brohama the sales Llama: Get a Llama for your mama.
Zack: The drivers have completed, their, um, warm-up lap and the race can now officially begin.
♪Safety car♪
(All 6 cars stop)
Zack: And the drivers all appear to be out of gas?
Joey Logan: I didn't want to beat you, anyway, you're my friend.
Ricky Stenhouse Jr: Now we can all be winners.
(Elliot and Milo get out of the car)
Elliot: Murphy! (both shut the doors) That was...awesome (chuckles). We flew through the air and on a rollercoaster and underground and we're still alive! That was dare I say, fun!
Milo: You're right Elliot. Sometimes, it's important to relax and enjoy the..(number plates falls off car onto Elliot's foot)
Elliot: Ow! My toe! (pulls his knee to him) See what happens when you relax? (limps off) Medic! I need a Medic!
♪It's my world and we're all livin' in it♪