Milo Murphy's Law Wiki
Milo Murphy's Law Wiki
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Jefferson County Middle School Playing Fields.[]

(A maple syrup truck has overturned and Maple Syrup is all over the playing field, where the Annual Picnic was set up. The syrup bubbles at it spills from the tank top. )

Trucker Ted: (on the phone) Well you better down here real quick, we got a real emergency here.

Women: (On the other end of line, barely audible) What's your emergency?

Trucker Ted: Well, I'll tell you what that emergency is. Those darn writers are going with the crashed truck bit again.

Women: (On the other end of line, barely audible) What am I supposed to do about it?

Trucker Ted: What are you supposed to do about it. You're my agent. You're supposed to get down here and get them stopped while we're using this bit. We're going back to the well too many times for Old Trucker Ted's comfort here. That's right. How's the darn audience supposed to believe I'd be allowed to drive trucks if I crashed this many of 'em?

Women: (On the other end of line, barely audible) Did you crash the truck?

Trucker Ted: Well, yes. I crashed that truck. (Looks at the script) That's what I do I guess.

Women: (On the other end of line, barely audible) What were you carrying?

Trucker Ted: Says here I'm carrying Maple Syrup. Looks like it ruined some kinda school event.

Women: (On the other end of line, barely audible) Are you going to clean it up?

Trucker Ted: No! I'm not cleaning it up. That's just a plot device to send the story someplace else. And not a darn minute of screen time for Trucker Ted the rest of the show. Makes a guy question why he even bother having an agent.  

Principal Milder: (glancing over the situation with Milo, Melissa and Zack) This is awful. What are we supposed to do now? (Amanda joins them and gasps at the scene before her.)

Melissa: Make a giant waffle.

Principal Milder: No jokes.

Zack: Yeah. No jokes, Melissa. This is a very sticky situation. (laughs and Melissa hits him in the arm) Ow!

Principal Milder: (grabs the banner that is under Maple Syrup) Well, looks like we'll have to relocate the annual picnic and dry clean this sign.

Milo: Don't worry Principal Milder. Hamilton H. County park isn't being used.

Principal Milder: Hamilton H County?

Milo: Hamilton is the less popular brother of Jefferson G County.

Principal Milder: Why haven't I ever heard of him?

Milo: His enemies destroyed his rep and America forgot him. (Principal Milder gives him a sceptical look) Um...anyway, it's a nice park.

Principal Milder: Sounds good to me.

Milo: Cool! The four of us will get there early and set it up. Easy-peasy mac and cheesy.

Melissa: I seem to remember mac and cheese exploding at your house.

Milo: We won't be at my house.

Zack: Well then, I'm pretty sure everything will go perfectly.

Hamilton H County Park[]

(A picture is shown of Hamilton H County Park looking nice, but when Milo lowers his phone, it's shown to be a mess.)

Milo: Wow. (It's shown he, Melissa (who is holding supplies) Zack and Amanda are standing across from the park) I need to update my photos of all the parks in town.

Zack: So much for easy peasy.

Amanda: Yep. (puts hands on her hips) This is crazy-peasey.

Milo: Come on. We have a whole day to whip it into shape. (Everyone walks across the road following Milo) Like my dad always says, 'it's easier to fix up a dilapidated park than put tiny pants on a cat.'  

Zack: Your dad has a lot of really specific sayings. (Steps in front of the group) But look at this place. I think I'll take my changes with the cat.

Melissa: (chuckles) Oh, this will be a breeze. (Milo steps forward leaving her and Amanda) I once cleaned and organised the entire garage in less time than one episode of Real Babysitters of Atlanta.

Amanda: That is nothing. I once sanded and repainting all of our patio furniture in the time it takes to boil an egg.

Melissa: Oh yea? Well, I once tossed a tennis ball in the air and built an entire gazebo before it hit the ground.  (Milo and Zack appear less than impressed by the increasingly competitive conversation)

Amanda: I built a lemonade stand from tongue depressors and $42. In nickels!

Melissa: Maybe you should your mouth where you money is. (Milo and Zack have pained and unsure expressions)

Amanda: Okay! You take the right side of the park and I will take the left. Whoever has the prettiest side by four o'clock wins.

Melissa: Wins. Wins what?

Amanda: (hand in a fist) Something.

Melissa: (glaring) You're on!

Zack: (daring) And what about us?

Amanda: You boys will clean the statue in the middle. You don't win anything. Ready, set, go! (grabs the box off Melissa as she runs to her side)

Melissa: Hey! You can't just...

Amanda: Too late, I'm starting! (runs past Milo and Zack)

Melissa: (growls as she chases Amanda)

Zack: (whispering to Milo) May the most tightly wound spring win.

Melissa and Amanda: We heard that!

Danville Desert.[]

(Dakota is picking up litter)

Dakota: Hey, I appreciate you offering to help, but the trash pickup does actually go quicker if you get out of the van.

Doof: I'll pass. I'm not really the physical labory type, worky do thingsy type. I'm good at pointing things out. (points to a roller-skate on the floor) Look. That looks pretty alieny.

Dakota: (pointing the grabber at Doof) Get out of the van!

Doof: Sheesh. (gets out of the van) Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the alien trash (shuts the door) collecting job today.

Hamilton H County Park[]

(Soap is falling off the statue next to Milo as he looks through his backpack, Zack is scrubbing the statue's head with soap)

Zack: What are you doing? Hamilton's face isn't going to scrub itself.

Milo: I'll be up in a minute. Just looking for my helmet. (pulls out a hose) Definately not my helmet. (Gradually takes the entire hose out, before picking up a shovel, which he discards, meanwhile Amanda is pulling weeds whilst Melissa is cleaning the slide. Amanda pinches the shovel as Milo pulls out what looks like a paint tube. Amanda starts digging, whilst Melissa pours water on the slide, before using Milo's hose on it. Amanda attempts to mow the grass using a ride on mower)

Amanda: Boo-ya! (she drives into the teeter-totter)

Milo: (throws a slinky out, there's already wood, nails, a small rake and a mop on the floor beside him) Looks like I forgt to pack my helmet. I'll just do the bottom half.

Zack: (with a mop) Okey-dokey! (bats fly out and startle him, and he falls backwards from his perch and the rope leaves him hanging upside down) Mommy!

Milo: (The bucket lands by Milo) Don't worry Zack. I'll get you down. Hang tight.

Zack: Yeah. That's pretty much what I'm doing.

Milo: (pulls out a pink paint can) Uh-oh. (pulls out a second small rake)

Zack: (Concerned) Uh-oh? Okay...did you just 'Uh-oh?'

Milo: Uh-huh.

Zack: Why are you uh-ohing?

Milo: (sheepishly) Oh, boy.

Zack: (starting to panic) Now you're oh-boying? Oh boy what? What's going on down there?

Milo: (laughs nervously) This also never happens, but I...I think I packed the wrong stuff today. (pulls a copy of Moby Dick) Yep. Wrong stuff. I mean, what did I think I was gonna do with a copy of Moby Dick?

Zack: Hey, if you have 75 more of those things, we can make stairs and get me down!

Danville Desert.[]

Doof: (pointing) Is that alien trash?

Dakota: Rock.

Doof: (turns and points at something else) Is that alien trash?

Dakota: (glances, but doesn't move) Lizard.

Doof: (walks forward and points at something else) Is that alien trash?

Dakota: Bottle cap.

Doof: (turns and walks back to the original spot, he points again) Is that alien trash?

Dakota: (fed up walks off as he replies) Same rock.

Doof: (spots something) Ooh shiny. (Grabs the alien carburetor) Is this...(a wave goes through him) That's weird. (He groans, now boneless on the floor, he attempts to speak, but it's muffled)

Hamilton H County Park[]

Milo: I could throw this up to you and..

Zack: (Cranky) And what?! Yank me down?! Oh, yeah. That sounds really safe, bro!

Milo: (With rope in his hand, a little upset) I'm just spit-balling here. You don't have to get cranky.

Zack: (Realising he might have upset Milo) Dude, I'm sorry, okay? (holds his head) All the blood's rushing to my head is making me really loopy. (He starts spinning) Whoo-hoo. Okay. Whee! (waves his arms and legs for a few seconds, before groaning) And a little dizzy. (groans as he continues to spin)

Amanda: (Paints the teeter-totter with the pink paint) Boo-ya!

Melissa: (Has set up tire swings) Boom!

Danville Desert.[]

(Dakota is picking trash still)

Dakota: Wait a minute. I haven't heard you complaining for minutes now. (turns and walks back towards Doof) What gives?

Doof: (muffled speaking)

Dakota: (stops in front of the still boneless Doof) What? What...I can't understand you when you're all piled up on your face like that. Let me...let me  (picks Doof up ), just turn you over and... (let Doof go who just falls back) Man, just like you're a boneless chicken. (Waves Doof's boneless arm) Why you gotta make things so difficult?

Doof: I'm not doing this on purpose.

Dakota: (spots the carburetor) Hey, what's this? (Picks up the carburetor and lets go of Doof's arm which slaps over his mouth) Oh, oh. (A waves goes through him and he drops the carburetor) Okay, that was a warning, wasn't it? You were trying to warn me. Oh. This does not bode well. (falls onto himself boneless and groans as he does)

Hamilton H County Park[]

Zack: (As Milo pulls out a grappling hook and rope) Oh, my. Got your name upside down. (Milo takes out ball lamps)

Milo: I'm gonna get you down in a second. I promise.

Zack: (A pigeon lands on the arm above him) Hi, little birdy. You look just like a little dinosaur. (Growls and briefly waves his arms and legs) If you were really, really big, you'd be the huge birdasaurus at the top of the food chain. (A bigger bird grabs the pigeon) (Sighs) Circle of life.

Amanda: (finishes handing the lights) I need a...duck pond.

Melissa: (having dug a large hole) I need the hose. (She and Amanda both grab the hose, it slips out of Amanda's hand, the girls fall back and it starts gushing water, running both of their work, there's a crash at the end)

Amanda: (walks over to Melissa) Murphy's Law!

Melissa: Actually I don't think, that was Murphy's Law. (rubs the back of her neck) I think that was us being overly competitive.

Amanda: Then we have to fix it. (puts her hand out)

Melissa: Okay. Let's do this together (shakes Amanda's hand) and make it twice as good. Boom!

Amanda: Boo-ya!

Amanda and Melissa: Boom-ya!

In the desert.[]

(Doof and Dakota are still boneless)

Dakota: So is this just us now? (a piece of paper blows onto Doof's face) We're blobs?

Doof: I'm sure (as it wears off) it'll wear...

Doof and Dakota: (Groan)

Doof: Okay we're back. Oh, wow, it is hard to move when you have no bones. But on the plus side, it's very relaxing. (rubs his fore arm) I got all the stress out of my shoulders.

Dakota: Okay, that thing is definitely alien. (gets up) We gotta get it into the van.

Doof: I got it (grabs the carburetor)

Dakota: Wait, don't touch...

Doof: Oh that's right. Here goes...(Is boneless seconds later)

Dakota: (facepalms) Ugh.

Hamilton H County Park[]

Zack: Hi (chuckles) You know it's funny how when you hang upside down for long enough, your brain makes you think you're three-quarters marmoset. (Squeals) That's how marmosets talk! (A squirrel runs over and starts chewing at the rope holding him up) Wait. What's that? Wait..what?

Milo: Stay with me, buddy!

Zack: Huh?

Milo: Do not go into the light! (Pulls out a hammer, and a jumper)

Zack: Wait are...are you kidding right now? I don't even know how many hamsters I have! (chuckles)

Milo: (pulls out an inflatable rubber ring)

On Street.[]

(Goat Bleats as Trucker Ted is stationary in a truck with goats)

Trucker Ted: (on the phone) Well, it seems I owe you, my trusty agent, an apology. Look at old Trucker Ted getting two appearances this episode. And I didn't even have to crash a truck.

Agent: (Other end of the phone) What do they have you doing?

Trucker Ted: Looks like they've got me a driving a truckload of goats. (picks up the script) Says here in the script that the goats are nice and calm as long as no one blows a whistle near 'em. (Milo checks his whistle works, the goats bleat and shake against the truck) Whoops. Somebody blew a whistle right on cue. Whoa, look at 'em go. They're getting ornery.

Agent: Hey, what's happening there?

Trucker Ted: Hey, they're getting a mite out of control, is what. (A goat kicks through the back window of the truck)

Agent: Sounds to me like a plot device.

Trucker: Well, yes, that it s a plot device, but thanks. I'm glad you finally learned something while I'm getting beaten by goats.

Hamilton H County Park[]

(Milo pulls out an anvil that hits an extended small rake that flings the grapple and short rope, the slinky, the small rake and the jumper up, onto the statue the rake extends into the leg, the grapple around an arm, the slinky the ear, and the jumper the top of his spear)

Zack: Hey, Milo. Do you think babies are evil? (The rope finally breaks) Whoa! (he grunts and screams, as he's first dropping into the rake pole, then thrown into the rope, pulls on the slinky, before end up in the jumper) Atleast I'm upside up. (The jumper rips)

Milo: Don't move! I'm gonna..(The jumper comes unthreaded, and gently drops Zack onto the inflatable) Phew! Well I guess that worked itself out. (Milo looks relieved)

(The goats bleat angrily and break out of the truck, one of them catch the rope attached to the inflatable pulling Zack along, he screams, before being knocked out of it, Melissa chases after the goats.)

Zack: (glances round) Wait, Did we do all the this? (laughs) Oh yea, it looks great! (Milo joins him and Amanda)

Melissa: (Off screen) A little help, guys? (Everyone turns to where Melissa has contained several goats, the group prepare an area, with Zack putting in the sign. Sign: 'Petting Zoo (No whistling)' everyone cheers)

Later that day[]

(Everyone is there for the picnic, including Trucker Ted who makes an excited 3 sign, Melissa and Amanda shake hands)  

In the desert.[]

(Doof now has bones and is sitting up shaking his right arm)

Dakota: So are we clear on the fact that we should not touch this thing ever right? Right?

Doof: Very clear, very clear.

Dakota: Good. I'm calling Block to tell him what we found. Do not touch. (There's a bleep as he calls Mr Block.)

Mr Block: Hey. How's it going out there in Garbageland?

Dakota: Pretty good. So we had an...an interesting thing happen while we were...

Mr. Block: I wanna hear all about it. But first, I gotta warn you. If you find a glowing alien carburetor, do not touch it. It will turn your bones into a noodley liquid.

Dakota: Yeah, a noodley liquid. Well, it just so happens-

Mr. Block: (Cuts Dakota off) Sorry, gotta go. Back to work, boys.

Dakota: Uh..

Mr. Block: Have a great day. (Hangs up)

Doof: You go ahead. I'm all worked out. I need to relax (grabs the carburetor) (sighs relaxed, Dakota starts poking him with the trash grabber) Hey. Stop it. Quit poking me. Quit poking me. Quit poking me!

♪ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ♪

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