Milo Murphy's Law Wiki
Milo Murphy's Law Wiki
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(The scene is a run-down strip mall, where Cavendish and Dakota apparently live. They are entering their apartment.)
Cavendish: Why the Bureau would ever decide to put us in this dingy strip mall is beyond me. (Cut to Cavendish opening the door and Dakota eating chips.) Have they even issued last month's check?
Dakota: I haven't seen one.
Cavendish: Just keep an eye out for the landlord.
(The landlord, Mr. Phillips, sees Cavendish and Dakota and slowly but angrily walks up to them.)
Mr. Phillips: Hey! Rent! (Cavendish tries to quickly open the door.) You two owe me rent! Get back here!
(Cavendish opens the door, and he and Dakota immediately enter and shut the door.)
Mr. Phillips: Hey, I see you two! Hey! Rent!
(Cut to Cavendish and Dakota in their apartment, next to the door, afraid. Mr. Phillips knocks on the door.)
Mr. Phillips: I didn't fight in five wars to take this from you two! I better see rent by Tuesday!
Cavendish and Dakota: Yes, Mr. Phillips.
Dakota: That guy really scares me.
Cavendish: (while taking the cover off the communication device to the time bureau) Well, I guess we'd better check in.
(Cavendish presses some buttons, and the communicator connects to the Bureau of Time Travel.)
Operator: (through the communicator) Your upper-level management representative will be right with you. Your time is not terribly important to us.
(Cut back to the communicator, showing Mr. Block in a parka.)
Mr. Block: (Disgusted sound) It's Kooperdink and Hampshire.
Cavendish: (Politely correcting) It's Cavendish and Dakota, sir.
Mr. Block: Sure it is.
Cavendish: Is it winter there?
Mr. Block: (takes off winter coat) No, not today, but I went back six months to see a movie I missed.
(Cut to Cavendish and Dakota. Dakota asks his question, excitedly intrigued, while Cavendish gives him a disapproving look.)
Dakota: Ooh, which one?
(Cuts back to Mr. Block.)
Mr. Block: None of Your Business Part Two: The Shut-upening! Your mission is a pistachio farm. Drive support stakes into the ground near each plant. (Cuts to Cavendish and Dakota.) There's a map and some stakes in your locker.
(Dakota opens the locker and finds it empty. He looks at Mr. Block with a blank expression and shrugs.)
Mr. Block: Gretchen? (Gretchen walks in.) The map and stakes?
Gretchen: (always jaded and disinterested) Just a sec.
Mr. Block: You were supposed to do it yesterday!
Gretchen: I am doing it yesterday. (time-travels)
(Dakota takes the map and stakes out of the locker and hands the map to Cavendish who looks at it.)
Cavendish: What about this Milo Murphy, sir? Have you figured out what agency he's working for?
Mr. Block: There is no other agency; I told you! He's just a middle schooler.
Cavendish: Yes, but he's thwarted our pistachio mission repeatedly! He's definitely working for someone.
Mr. Block: Unless you have some evidence, stick to your mission!
Cavendish: Hmm, evidence.
Mr. Block: Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go back to twenty seconds ago. (Walks back and forth, waving his arms and imitating the sound of time-travel.) Ugh. It's Kooperdink and Hampshire. (Laughs heartily.)
Cavendish: (bitterly sarcastic) That never ceases to be amusing, sir. (Terminates the conversation on the communicator.)
Dakota: I'm Hampshire, right? Cause that hat and goggles definitely say Kooperdink.
Cavendish: The important thing is that we now have permission to collect evidence on Milo Murphy.
Dakota: Is that what you got from that?
Cavendish: Yes, that's what I got from it. (walks off)
Dakota: I must have been in a different meeting.

(Cut to outside Jefferson County Middle School, decorated for a "NIAGARA FALLS FLING", as a banner says. Students are entering. Cut to within. Zack, Milo, and Melissa enter, all dressed in formal attire.)
Zack: Niagara Falls is the theme?
Milo: Well, the place looks great!
Amanda: (walks on) Thanks, Milo!
Melissa: Amanda headed up the decoration committee.
Amanda: And the refreshment committee, and the entertainment committee, and the committee to supervise all committees.
Milo: Now you get to have fun.
Amanda: I’ve got somebody covering that for me. Thanks, Lydia.
Lydia: (dancing and enjoying herself) You're having so much fun.
Amanda: When I see everything is going smoothly, I will have fun.
Milo: If I waited for things to go smoothly to have fun, I'd be —
Amanda: Milo, please try to keep your distance from the decorations, food, stage, ice sculptures, and, um, basically anything that could fall to pieces.
(A band member knocks over a microphone stand, which sets a table with a crystal on it a-rolling.)
Melissa: You mean like you'll be doing in three, two...
(The second her coundown ends, Amanda shrieks as she watches the crystal pierce the punch bowl [to which cut], spilling its contents onto the floor.)
Amanda: Aiee! (She runs over to it and tries to stop the spillage with her hands.)
Milo: I just happen to have some punch bowl sealant. (Produces a tube.)
Amanda: (takes it) Thanks. (uses it) But just stay back, from everything.

(Amanda now is watching the activities in the school dance. a string of lights fall around Jamal as Milo walks by. As Jamal dances, he quickly becomes tangled in them and falls over. Milo quickly helps him. Amanda covers her face in frustration.)

(Later, Milo walks by students getting their photo taken and Amanda, who looks on helplessly as Murphy's Law takes effect. Some boards, part of the cut outs for the photos, fall on Grace and Carl who were having their picture taken at the time. Unsupported and pinned to the cut out board, the two struggle to stop the whole thing fall over. As they stumble around, they take out the camera and nearly hit Chad. Emery eventually helps stop them from falling.)

(Cavendish and Dakota enters in the school dance, and Dakota is carrying around wooden stakes.)
Dakota: So you think this kid's doing some undercover agent stuff at a middle-school dance? Is that your theory?
Cavendish: What better cover is there? No one but an idiot would suspect it.
Dakota: I didn't say it. And plus, we're carrying around wooden stakes at a party, and not the kind of party where wooden stakes would be appropriate.
Cavendish: And what sort of party would that be?
Dakota: If we were at one, I'm assuming we would know. (He sees Logan bringing some eggs, then runs off, leaves the wooden stakes to Cavendish.) Oh, deviled eggs.

(Cuts to Milo, Melissa and Zack enjoying the party.)
Milo: Amanda, wanna come dance with us?
Amanda: (running pass them) Can't. Now the ice sculpture's under the heating vent.
Milo: I'll help. I’ve got liquid nitrogen.
Amanda: Of course you do! And no thank you.
(Milo sprays it on Zack's hand.)
Zack: Ow!
Milo: You had a wart. Let's dance!
(The three dances freestyle to the music. Then an amp is broken.)
Bass player: Uh, oops, sorry, guys. I blew an amp. It will just be a second.
Cavendish: (At a punch bowl table, watching Milo.) Perhaps we should ask someone about this Murphy.
Dakota: Why don't we ask Murphy about Murphy?
Cavendish: 'Cause that's just what he would be expecting.
Dakota: That's what anybody would be expecting.
Chad: (sees the two) Are you guys teachers or parents?
(simultaneously) Dakota: Parents. / Cavendish: Teachers.
Dakota: Parents. / Cavendish: Teachers.
Cavendish: We're Teachers' parents. Gregory Teacher. He's in the 6th grade.
Dakota: Smooth!
Cavendish: Thank you.
Dakota: (takes out the net of wooden stakes) Maybe we just put these in the coat check, what do you think?
(Chad gasps, then silently leaves.)
Cavendish: What a peculiar child.
Dakota: Yeah, he's a weirdo.

(At a coat check in the school dance.)
Amanda: (to Zack and Melissa, who are now in charge of it) Are you sure you got it?
Melissa: We can handle it.
Amanda: Now where is Milo?
Melissa: (points to where he is) Hot chocolate waterfall.
(Milo wants to take a cup of hot chocolate, but then the waterfall collapses. He switches from cup to cup to keep as much hot chocolate from spilling as he can.)
Amanda: Aiee! (She runs toward him.)
(Chad runs over to the coat check, nearly bowling over Amanda on the way.)
Chad: Vampire hunters! Look! They brought wooden stakes!
Zack: Wooden stakes?
Chad: Yeah, look! (He runs to the punch bowl and points Cavendish and Dakota to them, but it's covered by Carl and Grace walking pass. Then he runs back.)
Melissa: Wait, someone got in the way, I couldn't see.
(Chad sighs. He then runs to the punch bowl again, points to them, and runs back. This time, Zack and Melissa can see it.)
Zack: (to Melissa) Wooden stakes.
Melissa: I didn't think it was that kinda party. (Zack slowly nods.)
Chad: (yells at the two) I'm serious.
Melissa: (to Chad, in a serious tone) Why would vampire hunters be here, ladling punch? (She directs Chad to the thing Cavendish and Dakota are doing.)
Chad: What if it's not punch? What if it's blood?
(He holds up a cup of punch, and Zack drinks it.)
Zack: You're right! (Melissa and Chad look at him surprisingly.) It is blood.
Chad: Really?
Zack: No!
(Mr. Drako comes in, with his vampire-like poncho.)
Drako: Hi kids. I'd like to check my poncho. (takes off his poncho)
Melissa: Poncho? It's not raining.
Drako: (gives it to Zack) Well, I couldn't tell when I left the house. My place gets so little natural light, it's like a dark box that I sleep in. (He walks away.)
Chad: This is what I was afraid of. They're after Mr. Drako.
Zack: (worriedly) If he's really a vampire, those wooden stakes will kill him.
Melissa: (to Zack) But if he's not a vampire, (refusal tone) those wooden stakes will kill him!
Zack: We could tell Principal Milder that vampire hunters have- (mopping his mouth with Drako's poncho) Nevermind. (he takes it off) I'm hearing it as I'm saying it.
Melissa: If they want Drako, (cuts to Cavendish and Dakota. Cavendish is thinking while Dakota is eating the food) they'll have to go through us. (cuts back to Zack, Melissa and Chad. Melissa says to Zack) He may be a vampire, which I still maintain he's not, but he's our vampire, (pauses) which I still maintain he's not.

(Meanwhile, Amanda is moving the turned off chocolate waterfall, but the banner Niagara Falls is falling at the same time.)
Amanda: Oof!

(The band's about to plug the amp's electric wire in a power strip.)
Milo: You might not want to- (A blackout happens, all the students gasp in surprise.)
Amanda: (screams loudly) No!!!!
Milo: -use a 10-watt power-strip for a 50-watt line.
(Milo uses his night-vision goggles to look around. He spots a despairing Amanda lying down.)
Milo: On the bright side, you don't have to see the wreckage.
Amanda: (hearing Milo's voice) Milo, is that you? I can't see through the haze of my own demise.
Milo: Yep! I'm going to look for the fuse box. (walks away)
Amanda: (trying to stop him) No, no, no! You'll just make it wor- (sighs) Nevermind. I guess everything that can go wrong already has. (The snack table behind her falls, making a loud crashing noise) I stand corrected.

(The song "TLC" begins)
I'm not despairing
But maybe we can start repairing
With a little tender love and caring
(Milo sees the banner is on the audience seat. He tapes it on the wall by glue.)
And that would really hit the spot
'Cause you know I'm not pretending (Pretending)
(He takes out from his backpack a scissor, duct tape and some clips, and use those on the banner)
That I'm not in need of mending (Mending)
If I'm not broken, then I'm bending
(Milo knocks over his bottle of glue as he decorates the seat with some ribbons)
And I'm feelin’ brittle, I need a little TLC (Just a little TLC)
(He cuts a paper to shape it, then attaches it to the light that lighting a shiny blue curtain)
I need a little TLC (Just a little TLC)
Just a little TLC (Just a little TLC)
(He gets down from the top of the audience seat, but his right shoe gets stuck in the puddle of glue he spilt earlier.)
I'm feeling brittle, and I need a little TLC
(He tries to free it from the glue but then leaves it there and runs off)

(The song ends. Cavendish and Dakota, with their own night-vision goggles, spot Milo running.)
Cavendish: There he is! He's up to something. Let's go!
(While following Milo, Cavendish drops a device, which makes the band on the stage disappear with a flash)
Dakota: Hey, you dropped something.
Cavendish: My temporal transporter. I hope I didn't send anything back in time. (laughs) That would be disastrous.
(Milo runs to the fuse box with Cavendish and Dakota watching. Milo uses a screwdriver from his backpack to fix it.)
Milo: And... lights! (He turns on the switch, makes the party shine again. The students cheer.)
Amanda: (surprise) Oh my! Wow. It's all been fixed. And it looks so much better.
(The students gasp to the beautiful look of the party now)
(Milo runs off without noticing Cavendish and Dakota was watching him)
Cavendish: Well, we have learned some very important information about him.
Dakota: (sarcastic) Yeah, he can operate a fuse box. Big whoop.

(Cuts to the party)
Amanda: (Still shocked at the amazing look) Who did this, and how?
Mort: I don't know. But whoever it was lost their loafer.
(Both see a loafer sticking to the seat by the glue. Mort takes it out of the glue)
Amanda: I've got to find out whose shoe this is and thank him.

(Cuts to the coat check)
Melissa: Anybody have eyes on the vampire hunters?
Chad: (sees them) Over there! (Cavendish and Dakota come out from behind a curtain and remove their night-vision goggles)
Melissa: (she and Zack climb out from the coat check) Hold your ranks, everybody! Here they come.
(Melissa, Zack, and Chad stand in front of Cavendish and Dakota, shifting to prevent them from going any further)
Cavendish: Pardon me, we're headed this way.
Zack: (furiously) Oh no, you're not.
Melissa: We know what you're up to.
Dakota: Really? 'Cause I barely know.
Zack: And we're not letting you get to him.
Chad: (threatening) The one you seek has powers unimaginable. Continue this pursuit and perish.
Cavendish: Ah! Aha! I knew it! "Powers unimaginable"! Did you hear that Dakota? Did you hear? Hm?
Dakota: Yes, yes, I heard it. I heard it.
Cavendish: Yes! Vindicated!
Dakota: Fine, can we- can we go now?
Zack: Door's that way.
Dakota: Thanks. (Dakota and Cavendish walk away)
Chad: Ah! There's Mr. Drako! (seeing the two and Drako head towards each other) I can't watch!
(They bump into each other)
Cavendish: (tips his hat) Excuse me.
Drako: (friendly) Uh, no, excuse me.
(They walk away as though nothing happened. Chad's holding Melissa's shoulders while he hides behind her back.)
Melissa: (disappointed) Chad, get off of me. (Chad awkwardly gets off Melissa)
Drako: Did you see those guys? Weird outfits, huh? Now, who's got my cape?

(Milo's thinking of what to do next)
Student: Hey, where'd the band go?
(Milo sees there's an empty stage with instruments up there)
Milo: (to Zack and Melissa) Hey, guys! I have an idea.

(Cut to scenes of Milo, Zack and Melissa playing on stage, and all the students dance to the song. "Just Roll With It" starts.)
(Just roll with it)
Zack: Sometimes it looks like there is no solution
(Amanda is looking for the owner of the lost shoe in the crowd of students)
Zack and Milo: You wish you had a stronger constitution
Lydia: Amanda, come dance!
Amanda: Can't. I have to find out whose shoe this is. Whoever it is, fixed all of this. (She holds the shoe adoringly) He's my hero.
Lydia: Well, that's obvious. (She points to Milo, who has lost his right shoe)
Zack and Milo: Hey, what'cha gonna do?
There's gotta be something that will get you through
Zack: The world is gonna shake you
Amanda: (surprised) Milo? (she comes closer to the stage, while Lydia dances and looks at the moment)
Zack: But don't you let it break you too. Yeah!
Milo: (sees Amanda has his shoe) Ah, there's my shoe! (Amanda puts his shoe onto his foot) Thanks.
Amanda: (impressed) No, thank you Milo! Wanna dance?
Milo: I'd love to, but, I'm playing accordion right now. Maybe later?
Amanda: Oh, oh, right. Yeah, sure.
(Milo winks at her and goes back to playing the accordion)
(Just roll with it)
Milo and Zack: Just roll with it
(Amanda joins the crowd to have fun)
Milo: Just roll with it
Amanda: (to Lydia) Take five. I'm having fun for me now. (Lydia walks off while Amanda starts dancing and enjoying herself)
Zack: You gotta know to let you go
And just roll with it

(Cuts back to the dingy strip-mall at night. In Cavendish and Dakota's room)
Mr. Block: (in the communicator) Ugh, so, you did not complete the mission you were assigned, and instead you went to a middle-school dance.
Cavendish: That's not precisely what I said.
Dakota: But it's basically what we did.
Mr. Block: (covers his face in disappointment) Ignoring for the moment this direct violation of your orders, do you have anything of note to report?
Dakota: (excitedly) Yeah, get a load of this. There's this one teacher at the school who looks exactly, (Elbows Cavendish) tell me if I'm right, like a (quoting) vampire. Right?
Cavendish: He does.
Dakota: Yes.
(Block still looks angry with the two)
Cavendish: I-um may have a picture in my...
(The screen is lit with lights from time-travel. It appears that the band that Cavendish sent back in time earlier appears at Mr. Block's office)
Mr. Block: Do you want to explain where these kids came from?
Guitar player: (scared) Uh, are we still getting paid for this gig?
It's my world and we're all living in it

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