Somewhere Over Danville.[]
(A bird flies into the Octalian ship, knocking it's cloaking off again.)
Alien Pilot: Maintaining minimum safe distance from designate Milo Murphy. Negative probability ions. Moderate. (The Alien Commander is on the seat at the back on the phone.)
Alien Commander: I already sent you that form twice. I know people say triplicate, but nobody knows what that means. Why do I need to send you a form if I already...Look, I'm just trying to command an intergalactic space fleet. So if somebody from maintenance could just come up...(line disconnects) Hello? Hello? (puts phone down) Pilot, where are my field agents? They should've been here by now.
(Loab and Khone transform from the table and lamp they were.)
Loab: (high fives Khone) Another for the books, bro!
Alien Commander: Gentlemen. Impressive camouflage, you are my very best. My favorites.
Khone: Oh wait, we have more. (They transform into a cow.) Yeah, no. No cows this time. (Loab and Khone transform back.) But I do need your special talents.
Loab: Well, we are your favorites.
Khone: You said it, we didn't. We said after you said it, but we were just agreeing with you.
Alien Commander: (clears throat) I need you to recover a biological tissue sample. (presses something on a remote) from Earth human designate Milo Murphy. (A picture of Milo and his name appear on the screen in front of them her, Loab, Khone and the Pilot.)
Khone: (Turns to face the commander.) May I say, ma'am. No, ma'am.
Loab: (turning round) With respect, ma'am. This is what happened when were just trying to observe him. (It's shown 2 Octalians are working on damage done to their ship with parts scattered everywhere)
Alien Commander: And that's exactly why I'm sending the two of you. My favorites. (Loab and Khone glance at each other and gulp)
Loab: We're still her favorites.
Khone: She said it first.
Next to the Murphys' House.[]
(The Octalian Ship sends Loab and Khone down in the capsule, they roll out behind some bushes just as Zack and Melissa walk past)
Melissa: I just hope he gets better soon. For his sake and for ours.
Zack: I actually had to take the bus to school today. I'm boring myself just talking about it. (Melissa and Zack head into the Murphy's)
Melissa & Zack: Hey, Mrs. Murphy.
Brigette: Hey, kids. (the doors shuts)
Murphys' Kitchen[]
(Melissa and Zack join Brigette and Sara the latter who is working on a costume)
Brigette: Milo's upstairs. Thanks for bringing his homework by.
Melissa: So how bad is he?
Brigette: Oh, I think he'll be fine by tomorrow. Usually, Murphy's Law tends to ebb a bit when Milo's sick. So it's a good time for him to rest up.
Sara: And the rest of is to get some work done. I'm making a costume based on the Guark Captain from episode 264b of season 10 of the Dr. Zone-
Zack: And that's our cue. (He and Melissa leave the room and head upstairs)
Milo's Room[]
(Milo is lying in bed, and Melissa and Zack knock)
Milo: Come in. (Melissa and Zack venture in wearing face masks) How's it going guys?
Zack: We're leaving. We just brought your homework.
Milo: (attempts to sit up) Oh, goodie.
Melissa: (puts her hands up) No! Don't come any closer. (puts her arms down) I mean, don't get up. (She grabs a fold up fishing rod and passes the books to Milo using it, they land on the bed)
Zack: Feel better, patient zero. (Melissa takes her mask off) Be strong. (Zack leaves, but Melissa hangs back)
Melissa: Feel better soon. It's boring out here without you. (leaves and Milo lays back)
At the door:[]
(Melissa and Zack leave past Khone who is a cooler and Loab who is a milk churn. Loab manages to get an arm in the door)
Loab: Nailed it.
Khone: Yea, we did. (They transform back and walk through the door into the house)
Murphys' Backyard.[]
(Perry jumps over the fence, wearing headphone and listening to his theme on a mp3 player.)
♪ Agent P ♪
(Perry pauses the mp3 player and removes the headphones, before placing then both, with belt he was wearing in his Fedora, he wanders over to the shed. Doof is sat outside in a chair, with inators everywhere, a chicken suit and a new sign 'Doofenshmirtz Good Incorporated')
Doof: Ah, Perry the Platypus, how domestic of you to stop by. What do you think of my new digs? I mean, I know you've seen the place before, but look, I put up a new sign. (gets up from the chair and points to the sign) Doofenshmirtz Good Incorporated, see?
♪ Doofenshmirtz Good Incorporated ♪
Doof: I have no idea where that comes from. Anyway, I'm serious about this 'good' thing. (Perry takes a seat across from him) And I'm so glad you're here. I want your feedback on something. (Perry makes a go on motion) I'm thinking of creating an alter ego like 'Do-gooder Doof.' Like a superhero kind of thing. I have to admit I did go buy a costume, (points) and there it is right over by the shed (Perry glances over to it, less than impressed) And I may have tried it on just to see if it fits. (Diogee appears next to Perry) And then I did take Diogee for a walk with it on, but I must admit, all modesty aside, I cut quite a dashing figure in it. Right, Diogee? Right? Right? (Diogee just walks off) Oh, what does he know, he's just a dog. You know, I'm gonna put on the costume again. (gets up) You can be my sidekick, what do you say? Do-gooder Doof, and his Platypus partner in...not...not...crime. In, in some other thing. Some good thing, I'm sure there's plenty of good things that you, and I and my inators can do together. (Perry looking unsure gets up and salutes him) Do-gooder Doof. I'm gonna go put on the costume. (grabs the costume) I don't know why it's chicken themed. That's just all they had at the store. (He heads into the shed as Perry runs to a dark car parked outside the Murphy's)
On the street outside the Murphys'.[]
(Monogram lowers the window of the car)
Monogram: Thank you once again, Agent P, for keeping an eye on Doofenshmirtz. Even doing good, he's dangerous, so I know you have your work cut out for you. Meantime, Carl wanted me to give you these. (Gives Perry a open box of cookies, in the shape of Carl's head with his new yellow glasses) They taste better than they look. That's not saying much. (Perry stores the box in his Fedora)
Murphys' House[]
(Loab and Khone transform from the TV and a chair. )
Loab: Well, The quicker we get to the second level, where the Milo designate is, the faster we can...(Brigette walks in and they become a sundial and hat stand)
Brigette: Okay, who put the sundial in the living room? (Picks up the hatstand and sundial taking them into the hall way) And for that matter, when did we get a sundial? (Pops both down in the hall, she leaves, Loab and Khone transform back before heading into the kitchen)
Loab: I'm running out of impressions.
Khone: Dude, I'm running out of breath. (They spot Diogee, gasp and transform into two brooms, Diogee sniffs them both, before walking off. Khone and Loab transform back)
Loab: (whispering) Copycat.
Khone: (whispering) What? I panicked. (they transform into a food and water bowl and Diogee walks back.)
Brigette: Hey, Diogee. Are you hungry? (makes up food and water for Diogee, Diogee switches between both while the Octalions eye each other in horror.)
In Danville's Streets[]
(Song: Do-Gooder Doof)
♪ (Ah yeah yeah!)
He's got noble intentions but his recent inventions
just highlight his less than stellar planning skills
He's just trying to do good and do the things that he should
but if you see him coming you might want to head for the hills
Don't want to start a fight, he's trying to do what's right
So we oughta wish him success
I know its philanthropic, don't want to seem myopic
But he's really making such a mess!
He's a do-gooder Doof, trying to help you out
but it's not that kind of help that you need or want
No he's not the kind of hero that you dreamed about
He's like an idiot savant, but without the savant!
He's a do-gooder Doof
(Yes he is)
He's a do-gooder Doof
(Oh yeah yeah)
He's a do-gooder Doof
(He's a do-gooder Doof)
He's a do-gooder Doof
(Oh no, no) ♪
(Song ends with Perry kicking one of the fallen drones into the bushes whilst Doof plays with a kite)
Murphys' House[]
(Diogee finishes his food and water)
Khone and Loab: (transform back) Blech! (they cough and splutter)
Khone: (with tongue out) It ate it's food out of my mouth.
Loab: I think it licked my tongue. Does that mean we're married now? (they walk into the hallway, but are spotted by Diogee who snarls above them, he barks and Loab and Khone transform)
Sara: What is it boy? (Walks through the hall, Loab and Khone attach to her costume) I'm just taking a soup to Milo. (She attaches a tray to Milo's bedframe and places the soup on the tray, Loab and Khone transform back. Diogee is at the door snarling as Sara leaves with the door closing behind her) Come on, buddy. Let's let him sleep, okay? (Diogee whimpers and scratches at the door.)
Milo's room.[]
(Loab and Khone attempt to cross Milo's bed to get the tissue sample, but Khone knocks the tray holding the soup off, Loab grabs for him, but Khone ends up knocking them both off the bed, and they land in the soup.)
Khone: This is terrible!
Loab: This house is a death-trap.
Outside Milo's room.[]
Sara: All right, all right. Just keep it down, okay? (Opens the door for Diogee) World's bossiest dog. (shuts the door)
Diogee: (Snarls and barks taking off after Loab and Khone, they run into the closet and Diogee pulls them back out, Loab back out by the arm who hits at him. )
Loab: No! Stay away from my mouth. (Khone grabs Diogee by the ears, whilst Milo mutters in his sleep. Diogee lets go of Loab, and then takes off after the Aliens again, barking, the jump onto the desk.)
Khone: (points to the window) The window! Let's get outta here! (He and Loab jump, but Diogee grabs up a fishing rod and the line gets wrapped around Khone, Diogee pulls him back and starts biting and shaking him.) It's worse than it looks! (Diogee throws Khone at Loab, he grabs them both and starts shaking them)
Loab: Abort the mission.
Milo: (in fevered sleep) No, silly, that's not what they smell like. (Loab and Khone transform into a cow and Diogee jumps on their back)
Khone: Moo!
Loab: We're a cow, moo, see? (they throw Diogee off and transform back)
Khone: Throw me outta here! (transforms into a frisbee, Loab throws him, but Diogee catches him before he makes it, Diogee shakes him around and he transform back. Diogee then throws him out of the window, before chasing Loab out of the window too. Diogee barks before glaring)
Octalian Ship[]
Alien Commander: Amateurs! (It's revealed Khone has a black eye and has been bandaged) I'll get the tissue sample myself. (walks off)
Khone: Atleast we're her favorite amateurs. (they attempt to high five and just slap each other on the face instead)
On a building roof[]
(Doof is looking over the city, whilst an exhausted Perry is laying on the floor)
Doof: I think this Doof gooder thing is working out. (Perry gives him a thumbs up)
Monogram: (appears at the top of the stairs) Thank you, Agent P. From the entire tri-state area.
Doof: We did do a good job, didn't we...hey, what are you doing here, Francis?
Monogram: Oh. Bad timing. Must be getting rusty. (Perry gets to his feet)
Doof: Wait a minute, Perry the Platypus. Are you working right now? (Perry rubs the back of his head) But we were saving the city together, one good deed at a time. We were pals, we were...(sighs)
Monogram: Sorry Doof, regardless of your good intentions, your inators are doing what they always do. (Perry nods looking sad) Causing trouble and wreaking havoc. The only reason it's not worse is because Agent P has been there, every step of the way cleaning up your messes.
Doof: (stammers) Is, is that true, Perry the Platypus?
Monogram: I'll uh, I'll see myself out. (Leaves sheepishly)
Doof: (Turns away from Perry, who puts his arm out, be glances back) I thought you were my friend Perry the Platypus, but you're not. You're my babysitter. That's it, Perry the Platypus. We are through, I mean I know we've had our rough patches before, everyone does, but this time (arms up) you hurt me, Perry the Platypus! You hurt me! (Perry takes out his mp3 player and head phones putting them and presses play)
(Sad version)
♪ Agent P ♪
On the ground below.[]
Carl: Did he like my cookies?
Monogram: Nobody likes your cookies, Carl.
Murphys' House that night.[]
(Alien Commander walks through the front door, she transform into a rug which Brigette walks over, the Alien takes the form of Brigette to head into Milo's room, Diogee sniffs her before she walks into Milo's room.)
Milo: (sleepy) Ah, I love you too, Mom. (Gives Alien Commander as Brigette a hug, she transforms back, he lets go and goes back to sleep)
Diogee: (snarls)
(Alien Commander grabs a tissue and runs out the window)
Octalian Ship[]
(The tissue is now in a scanner)
Alien Pilot: The negative probability ions, reading is off the chart. We've never seen anything like it. He is the one, ma'am. We're ready for phase two.
Alien Commander: (With a stuffy nose) The abduction of Milo Murphy. (sneezes)
♪ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ♪