On A Crab Boat on the Open Seas in a Storm[]
(Melissa and Zack are on the Crow's next, holding Milo who is over the edge.)
Milo: Wow, crab fishing is a lot harder than they make it look on tv.
Captain: (Bell dinging) Now listening, you kids'll be fine. And you'll be getting your school extra credit. (Holds the forms up) I got the forms right (Wave quickly washes them away) That's alright (takes another set out) I have a spare copy right he-! (Another waves washes them away.) Never mind about that! (pulls out his phone) I downloaded the forms to my cell-. (Another wave washes it away.) Look, I promise when we get back to port, I'll phone the school myself. (Wave knocks him down.)
Zack: Yeah, I don't think we're getting that extra credit.
Diogee: (Barks as he washes in)
Milo: Diogee! Go home! You're not supposed to be on a crab boat. (Diogee whimpers, slips off into one of the attached boats, it lowers into the water and he heads home, via train (which toots its horn), plane where he eats food from both people next to him who are asleep before running back to Danville.)
Danville[]
(Diogee stops outside the Museum of Sharp Objects sniffing and heading in.)
(Song: Bunny and a Kangaroo)
Maisy: ♪ I wanna puppy and a kitten too
I wanna bunny and a kangaroo ♪
(Crowd applauds when she finishes and she bows)
Museum Director: (walks over and grabs mic) Aw, thank you, Maisy, honey for that amazing rendition of something or other. (Nudges Maisy forward) Go find Mommy. Anywho for those of you just joining us, welcome to 'The Museum of Sharp Objects.' First Annual Toddler Talent Show. Thank you. We'd had, uh, some difficulty uh, attracting families with toddlers to our museum for some reason, so we came up with this contest. Well, maybe it all goes back to when my brother said, buy real estate and I said no. I said 'small, family-operated museums are where the money is.' And now my brothers a plane, 10 casinos and an island off Italy. But no museum! Heh. Who's laughing now, Jeffery?! (crickets chirp) Ahem. Our next talent toddler is Chloe, (Chloe walks on hands full of teddy bears) my other daughter. who will juggle teddy bears. (moves the mic stand out of the way)
Chloe: (attempts to juggle, fails and starts crying)
(The Camera shifts to Perry who is a dress, tiara and a wig)
Murphy's Living Room.[]
(Brigette walks in on Doof and Sara sat in the living room with clothes everywhere)
Brigette: Ugh! Look at this mess. Sara, is that your sweater on the chair? There are clothes everywhere!
Sara: They aren't all mine. And most of them are lab coats that are dirty. (Picks up a labcoat on the arm of her chair) Except for this one, it's burnt.
Doof: Hey, I can take a hint. That was a hint, right? It sounded hinty. (Sara drops the labcoat on the floor)
Sara: (gets up) If by 'hint' you meant was I referring to you being the dirty clothes culprit, then yes.
Doof: Mom! Sara's being mean to me.
Brigette: I'm not your mom. And Sara, stop being mean to your brother.
Sara: He's not my....
Brigette: Whatever. I'm going out. Everyone please pick up their clothes by the time I get back! Thank you! (leaves, Sara starts picking up clothes)
Doof: (Starts to get up) All right, I suppose I should...
Sara: Yes!
Doof: Wait! (Gets up and drops the bowl he was eating from and the contents on the floor)Why should I pick up clothes when I could invent something will come and pick up everything for us. Be right back (Runs out of the room)
Sara: Why does he live here again?
Museum of Sharp Objects[]
(Diogee is sat watching a kid play guitar, whilst Perry lurks back, he presses his communicator a couple of time that beeps each time)
Monogram: Agent P, sorry about your disguise. I know that particular shade of pink isn't really your colour.
Carl: (appears on screen) I would have gone with Salmon. Turquoise is Spring.
Monogram: He's a summer, Carl. (pushes Carl away) I'm not going to have the season colour chart argument with you again. (Changes the screen to a picture of Igor) This is enemy agent Igor, he will handing over a jump drive (screen switches to shot of Vlad) to this man, Vlad. Igor will be disguised as a child and the jump drive will be disguised as a cookie. Vlad will be disguised as a stage mom. (Perry rolls his eyes) I know that seems like a lot of theatre, but life is a stage. You must intercept the drive and convey it across town to your liaison at Harry Hamster's Restaurant and Playground.
Carl: (off screen) Ooh, I always loved Harry Hamster's!
Monogram: You're not going Carl.
Carl: (off screen) Oh...
(Perry cuts the call and surveys the scene, he goes for the grab on a cookie, but it's Maisy's and she starts crying)
Maisy: Blue Ducky, stole my cookie! (Perry hands it towards and she snatches it back). Creep. (Perry walks away sheepishly, before spotting Igor and Vlad, he jumps at that and attempts to wrestle the cookie off them, in the fight the cookie rolls free, where Diogee eats it.)
Diogee: Barks (runs off and Vlad shoves Perry off, before he, Perry and Igor take off after Perry)
Murphy's Living Room.[]
Doof: Ta-da! This is my Robotic-Hamper-Helper-Inator. I, I'm, I'm still working on the name. Anyway, it should pick up all the clothes and take them to the laundry room for us.
Sara: (sat on the couch) Okay, but did you have to dump all your clean clothes dowh here too?
Doof: I just wanted to give it a challenge. (Presses a button on the inator, which has a tongue that comes out and scoops up loads of clothes)
Sara: (Impressed) And it has a tongue? Wow. (The inator burps out all the clothes again)
Doof: Oh, my bad. I had it on 'Belch.' (presses a button on the inator) This, this should get it working. Here you go. (The inator jumps on the couch grabs a pair of pants and belches them out on Sara's face.)
Sara: Hey! Rude!
Doof: No, bad. Bad. Hamper-Helper-Inator thing. (The inator starts grabbing books off the shelves)
Sara: Hey, I was reading those! (The inator burps several times sending books flying at Sara.)
Doof: Hold still (Jumps on the 'back' of the inator) I got you now. Settle down. (As the inator attempts to get him off) I just gotta reprogram you and...(the inator throws him off and grabs him with it's tongue before spinning him around stuffing him inside) (muffled) You just, I'm just gonna turn...(manages to reach the buttons and dials on the back, the inator burps him out, before grabbing all the clothes at once.) There! Now off to the laundry room! (The inator beeps before walking out, through the front door. Sara and Doof appear at the hole in the door.) Oh you, you know what, it's probably going to the laundry room in my old apartment. Which is just a big sinkhole now. (Sara rolls her eyes)
Sara: (runs after the hamper) Come back, clothes!
Doof: Alright, but it seems like a lot of effort. (walks after Sara)
Museum of Sharp Objects[]
(Vlad and Igor try to get Diogee, but he takes off. )
Vlad: Come back, doggy! I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to pet you...(stops alongside Igor next to a wall of spears) Using this spear. (Diogee is now stood next to Perry, Vlad and Igor both grab spears, they come towards Diogee, but Perry kicks Vlad in the face, bounces off the spear and grabs it. Diogee as Perry holds the spear barks and Perry throws the spear for him out the exit. Diogee follows it as Perry slides along the floor knocking Vlad and Igor over. Perry jumps on both their stomachs before following Diogee out the exit and slamming the door. Vlad and Igor recover and run towards the door.)
Danville Street: []
(Sara and Doof are chasing the hamper)
Sara: Hey hamper! Stop. Come on. Do something, Dr. D! (they both come to a stop)
Doof: Okay! Um, I guess if I had another two hours I could build a Hamper-Chaser-Inator that would...
Sara: (starts running again) That's not helping! (Doof takes off after her)
Further up the street.[]
(Perry ditches the costume and headset for his fedora as he follows Diogee with Igor and Vlad in pursuit. )
Vlad: Who is small teal man in fedora with dog?
Igor: Who cares? Just get dog! (Perry grabs the spear from Diogee and sends it spinning towards Igor and Vlad, it lodges in a wall and trips them both. Diogee crosses the road for a fire hydrant and Perry pays a skateboarder for his skateboard, he grabs Diogee who lets out a surprised noise before crossing back to the other side of the road. Vlad and Igor are now back up and start running after them again. Ahead of the group circus elephants are crossing the street, they trumpet and Diogee barks.)
At another crossing[]
(Two trucks one 'Circus Elephant Rescue' and the other 'Rescued Circus Elephants, slid into each other, it's revealed both drivers are giving statements to the police)
Trucker Ted: And then my truck starts sliding on this spilled molasses, next thing you know, I look down the street and I see his (pointing towards the other driver) elephant truck coming right at me and we collided. What are the odds of two trucks carrying circus elephants crashing into each other?
Officer: Yeah. What are the odds? I smell a Murphy. (points straight at Martin who is sitting reading a paper outside of a Patisserie) Murphy!
Martin: (gasps) I just wanted a latte! (sobbing) I'm sorry (runs off)
Back at the Elephants crossing[]
(The elephants continue trumpeting, and Diogee barks. Perry manages to skateboard him and Diogee through the elephants feet.)
Igor: Strange teal man is getting away. (He and Vlad stop blocked by the elephants, Perry glances back in their direction)
Vlad: Elephants! Why is it always elephants?
(Perry stops down an alley way, but spotting the fence is too high, he uses the skateboard to flip Diogee into a nearby barrel, before flipping himself into the dumpster)
Igor: He went round (As he and Vlad appear at the entrance to the alley) this corner. (The enter and Perry jumps out the dumpster with a fish and a baguette) Huh? (Vlad attempts to approach him, but Perry fights back, and turns his attention to Igor too. Igor is knocked back and spots Diogee's wagging tail through the bottle of the barrel. ) Argh. (He goes to grab Diogee, Perry knocks Vlad to the ground, before kicking Igor in the face against the fence. Jumping on the barrel he wheels it and Diogee out of the alley, both Igor and Vlad attempt to make a grab, but hit each other instead. Perry wheels it straight into the Robotic-Hamper-Helper-Inator which sends clothes flying. Perry and Diogee skid to a stop)
Sara: (As her and Doof run up) Good dog, Diogee! (He and Doof stop) And whoever you are.
Doof: Oh, that's Perry the Platypus. (waves as Perry and Diogee turn to leave) Good Platypus, Perry the Platypus. (Realise what he said) Wait a minute. No, no, I'm still mad at you! (turns his back on the retreating Perry and crosses his arms) I take that back. (The Robotic-Hamper-Helper-Inator gets up, he grabs a trashcan) Hurry! (He and Sara put it over the top of the Inator, they high five)
Sara: On second thought, this is your fault and you don't deserve that high five. (Puts her hand back up) Give it back! (Her and Doof reverse high five and she takes her hand away in a fist, before putting it in her pocket)
Doof: Oh, that's harsh, bro.
Further up the street.[]
(Diogee and Perry are still running, they get on the back of a bus as Vlad and Igor catch up, so they steal a parked mobility scooter, as Vlad drives it off as the Old Women (from Disco Do-Over) comes out)
OW: Mine! Mine! (She climbs on the Scooter and starts hitting Vlad and Igor)
(Diogee and Perry got off the bus at Harry Hamsters and head inside)
Vlad: Wait. What are you...(Vlad brings the scooter to a stop, flinging Igor off)
Igor: Babuska. (He get up and runs inside with Vlad)
Murphys Living Room[]
(Sara and Doof finally drag the inator inside, there's some beeping)
Doof: Let's see if..(reaches into check on the inator, which explodes) Ow! Sorry, I hit the self-destruct button with my nose. (Puts his hand on his nose)
Sara: Your hamper has a self-destruct?
Doof: Yours doesn't?
Brigette: (Walks in) Oh, no! What have you two done?
Doof: (laughs nervously and points at Sara) Uh, she did it?
Sara: (grabs her head and growls with frustration whilst walking out)
Doof: I'll show myself out.
(Song: The Harry Hamster Band)
♪ Harry: We're Harry Hamster's Domesticated Rodent Band
You'll either like our music or you'll hate it
But you can search from east to west across this land
And you'll never find a rodent band that's so domesticated
I'm Harry the Hamster, this is Guinea Pig Greg
Greg: Hello
Harry: He only plays the drums 'cause he's not verbal
Greg: I can't talk
Harry: Then there's Chester the chinchilla, who can harmonise
And the familiar face on the base is Jerry the Gerbil
(Jerry the Gerbil)
(Jerry the Gerbil)
We're Harry Hamsters Domesticated Rodent Band
You'll never find a rodent band that's so domesticated ♪
(Diogee is stuck and Perry glances Igor and Vlad catching up, he manages to pull Diogee free, who yelps as he's thrown into the nearby ball pit, Perry dives in after him. Vlad and Igor glance through the pit and spot two balls that look like eyes, they dive and grab them, realise quickly they're fake and spot Perry with a marker in his hands. Diogee runs out of the pit, Igor and Vlad in pursuit. They soon see Perry with a rope in his hands and he ties them to the rocket. Perry puts a quarter in and the ride starts moving Igor and Vlad up and down)
Igor: This was favourite ride as kid.
(Perry walks over to his informant who is a man in a mouse costume)
Informant: (whispers) You must be Agent P. Where's the package?
Perry: Churrs.
Informant: The dog ate it? How in the world do we get it back...(Perry points at the nearby bathrooms) Oh, right. Of course. I'm just gonna let you handle it. (Perry motions Diogee towards the bathroom)
Murphys House.[]
(Perry and Diogee walk up to the door, with Perry opening it to let him back in, Diogee goes in, and spots Perry leaving.)
Diogee: (Barks and walks after Perry who stops, Diogee licks him)
Zack: (As he, Melisa and Milo arrive back soaked through) So, why were we on a crab boat?
Captain: (runs up) Good news kids! I got your forms back! (rogue wave, washes him away)
♪ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ♪