Milo Murphy's Law Wiki
Milo Murphy's Law Wiki
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Danville Street[]

Zack: Oh, here's some parking meters. Do it again.

Milo: It doesn't happen everytime.

(Milo and Zack are walking past walking meters, which ding as Milo walks past.)

Zack: Uh-huh? Right there. Bam. (meter dings) Like clockwork. (He and Milo stop when one doesn't ding and they both walk back to it.) Except for this one.

Milo: (pointing at the meter) See? It's not always guaranteed. (The meter catches fire, both gasp, Milo pulls out a fire extinguiser and uses it to put the flames out.)

Zack: Huh. Man, it's like... (safe lands on the meter) It's like... (the safe and meter fall through the sidewalk) It's like... (more fire, Milo waits a few seconds before putting it out) It's like poetry. (Melissa walks past frowning at her phone.)

Milo: Melissa? (He and Zack run after her, she stops after they catch her.)

Zack: What's the matter?

Melissa: (turns to address Milo and Zack) Oh, hi guys. I just found out they're going to dismantle Ol'Bessie.

Zack: I'm hoping Ol'Bessie isn't a person.

Milo: No, she's that old clock in town square. (camera moves to show Ol'Bessie)

Zack: The clock is named Bessie?

Melissa: They name everything in this town. (points to bus stop) This bus stop is named Steve.

Milo: Its full name is Steven.

Zack: Wow, you seem really upset about Ol' Bessie.

Melissa: Well she's kind of like family. (Shows Zack and Milo a photo of her great grandmother Abigail Chase.) She was built by my great-grandmother Abigail Chase.

Milo: Your great-grandmother was a clock maker?

Melissa: (swipes through to another photo) Not just a clock maker, but a full-fledged inventor. She invented the first primitive version of texting.

Flashblack:

Man on Bench: And, how the elephant got in my pajamas, I'll never know. (Abigail holds up a sign that says LOL.)

Present

Melissa: Even though I never knew her, I always felt a connection with Great-Grandma Abigail and I was so proud everytime I walked by that clock.

Milo: I can't believe they can just tear it down. Isn't it a historical landmark?

Melissa: Yes, but the city sold the land to a developer last year.

Milo: (to Zack) That land was called Reginald.

Melissa: And according to the law, if the clock stops working, the new owner can tear it down. Well, the clock stopped ticking yesterday at 5 and if she isn't fixed by tonight, no more Bessie.

Milo: We should do something about it.

Melissa: You guys would help? (Zack pulls out a sign with a thumbs up.) Old school, nice. (The group head on.)

Meanwhile with Perry[]

(Perry's theme instrumental plays, Perry heads into the Funhouse of Mirrors, before pressing his communicator to go into his lair.)   

Monogram: (Perry salutes him.) Morning, Agent P. Doofenshmirtz is up to something new, and I think you know how I feel about things that are new. (Carl appears on screen with yellow glasses.)

Carl: He doesn't like it. I'm wearing new glasses and he's freaking out.

Monogram: (pushes Carl away) Oh, it's like I don't know who you are. Anyhoo, now that Doofenshmirtz is no longer evil, he's decided to use his inators to help people. (pulling paper up) I need you to get out there and stop Doofenshmirtz (Perry raises both eyebrows, Carl turns over Monogram's paper.) Oh, from, uh, accidentally hurting someone while trying to help them. (Perry salutes again, before taking his small helicopter device and flying out.)

Carl: (with green 'triangle' glasses) How about these glasses?

Monogram: Not with those cheekbones.

In the Murphy's Shed[]

Doof: ♪ Horse in a bookcase, horse in a bookcase. Horse in a.. ♪ (knocking door)

Singers: ♪ Agent P ♪

Doof: Perry the Platypus? Is that you? (gets up and answers the door) Oh, sorry. Perry the Platypus. I couldn't hear you knocking over the music sting. Anyhoo, since, you know (walks and talks, Perry follows him) I'm going to become the great Professor Time some day, I thought I'd better start practicing now (stops in front of a whiteboard), being good so it doesn't, you know give me whiplash later. I'm going to start off by solving one of the greatest problems facing mankind. Sidewalk gum. (Unimpressed look from Perry) It's the worst, right? You're walking along and oh, suddenly, oh, now you have sticky gum on your shoe. And you can't get it off, how are you supposed to get it off? You can't touch it. It's been both inside someone's mouth and on the ground. (holding hands up) That's like the two most disgusting places on Earth. (slides Whiteboard out of the way) But no longer. (The moved whiteboard reveals...) Behold! The De-Gum Inator! (gets in) Now I can rid the city of sticky sidewalk gum forever! And by extension, do good. I'm gonna take this outside (Puts it in reverse, crashing through the garage door and fence, chicken clucks and a cat screeches, Perry glances through the hole)  Time to start doing good!

Ol'Bessie[]

Melissa: We only have until 5pm tonight to fix Ol'Bessie. Fortunately for us, we've got some help (opens a small door on the clock tower, and her, Zack and Milo crawl through it inside, before standing up, Clyde is already standing inside.) You guys remember Clyde?

Clyde: (Waves) Hey, Milo. Hey Zack.

Milo: Clyde Rickenbacker? I didn't know you could fix clocks.

Clyde: Well, we've been here for hours and it's still not working. So apparently, we can't.

CIDD: Milo, Zack, it is so nice to see you. (goes round the pair of them before stopping in the middle to give them a hug)

Clyde: Aw, he must smell your robot. (Milo laughs and Zack exclaims as CIDD juggles them both)

CIDD: I am so glad to see you (Zack and Milo hit the ground behind him, thudding) But also I am not glad because they might tear down Ol' Bessie.

Clyde: I don't know Melissa, I don't think we'll be able to fix this clock in time.

Zack: I still don't get it. Who would buy land with a clock tower on it, only to tear down the clock tower?

Victor: (offscreen) I would. (Victor's feet are seen at the small door) (sighs) Just a minute. (Gets down and crawls inside, before standing up) Stupid tiny door, ruined my entrance.

Milo: (mad) Victor Verliezer.

Victor: Milo...I'm sorry. Uh, what was your last name again?

Milo: Murphy.

Victor: Ah, that's right. (meanacingly) Milo Murphy.

Clyde: (rubbing the top of CIDD's head) Victor, why would you want to destroy Ol'Bessie?

Victor: (one of his guys pulls up a mobile projector screen) Oh, Clyde. This old clock is standing in the way of progress. (presses button on remote) And that progress is called the V-Clock. It's Wi-Fi capable, accurate to a millisecond, and best of all, (walks infront of the screen) the city will have to pay me for an upgrade every year with new operating systems or the clock will turn into a giant killer robot. (Laughs wickedly and he has a guy go to leave) When the clock doesn't strike 5 tonight, (Waves hand) it's bye bye Bessie (His assistant gets stuck so he kicks him through the door) Hello V-Clock. (leaves)

Milo: (angry) I really don't like that guy.

Zack: Wow, I've never seen Milo so angry.

Melissa: I have. Once, some squirrels ran off with his sandwich.

Milo: What would squirrels even want with tuna? They never come across it in the wild. It's just weird.

Melissa: But Milo's right to be mad. We can't let Victor win.

Clyde: I agree, but CIDD and I have been trying to fix this old relic for hours. I'm not sure what else we can do. (Gear falls onto the floor) We can't keep up.

Milo: (running over, with an closed umbrella) Don't worry, you guys. I have alot of experience fixing things. (lifts gear up and uses Umbrella to resecure it) There you go.

Zack: Or maybe more things will break just because you're here.

Melissa: Well, we're gonna have to take our chances.

Clyde: But if we're going to fix Ol' Bessie, we'll have to start at the top. (Uses a pulley lift system to get everyone up)

(As Melissa, Zack, Milo and Clyde fix the clock and Doof uses the De-Gum Inator)

♪ The passage of time is tricky

When your clock's not ticking

Let's get to work quickly

Got to get the gears clicking some way

(Some way)

(Some way)

We're just cogs in the machinery

Maybe I'm a dreamer, We

don't need a change of scenery

[...] demeanour today

(Today)

It's hard to get a reading

When the cycle keeps repeating

The same chronological display

But even a broken clock is right two times a day

Do you know what time it is?

'Cause I feel it tick-ticking away

Do you know what time it is?

'Cause I feel it tick-ticking away

Tick-ticking away

Tick-ticking away

Tick-ticking away ♪

Melissa: Looking good, Milo! (Milo is holding onto the minute hand whilst Zack appears with a grappling hook) But you're gonna have to move it back an hour and a half. (Lifts foot and realises she has gum on her shoe) Hey...oh, great, I've got gum on my... (is picked up by the De-Guminator) Whoa! (hanging upside by the Inators arm) What the...

Doof: Oh, hi, Milo's friend girl.

Melissa: Hey Dr. D, what are you doing? (screams as Doof's machine lets her go and he drives on)

Doof: I'm doing good, with my De-Gum Inator.

Melissa: (now in a trashcan) Okay.

O'Bessie[]

Melissa: So, how we doing Clyde?

Clyde: Pretty good, but we're still missing those parts I ordered. They should be hear any minute.

Outside[]

(Delivery guy pulls the back of the truck to reveal a large gear and boxes)

Victor: Hello (the delivery guy turns to see him and two of his guys), Can I help you?

DG: Oh, yeah, I'm looking for Clyde Rickenbacker. I've got some important old parts for him here.

Victor: Ah, yes. I'll take that for him.

DG: Oh, great (turns and grabs a box) Well, uh, looks like you're gonna get your clock fixed (newspaper flies lands on the chest of one of Victor's guys, with the headline 'Victor Verliezer - Scam! Fraud! Lies!) Just in time. Wait a second, don't I know you?

Victor: (pulls the newspaper away and stutters) Of course you do. I'm uh...your brother-in-law.

DG: David? Is that you?

Victor: Yes! Yes, it is. I'm David.

DG: You look great! You're like five inches taller.

Victor: I know. Growth spurt at 40, who knew? (his guys get off the their V-Scooters) Well, better take these parts. Time waits for no man. (his guys grab the parts)

DG: Yeah, I guess.

Victor: We'll see you at Christmas.

DG: (driving off) We're Jewish! (honks horn and Victor's guys trash the box)

O'Bessie just before 5.[]

Clyde: Since those parts never showed up, I had to jury-rig this, but it might do the trick. (finishes tighten the screw) Give it a try, Melissa.

Melissa: (starts the clock, the gears turn) Yes, yes, yes! (spring twangs) No, no, no! (it's revealed a big spring has unwound) That was the main spring, it kept everything moving.

Clyde: And it was an antique so it's going to take weeks to replace that.

Melissa: No, all we need is a machine that will keep everything moving at once. I've got an idea. (Takes out chewing gum) You guys, chew this gum. (Gives it to Zack and Milo)

Milo: Well, I do find it comforting to..

Melissa: (shoves gum in Milo's mouth) Less talk, more chew.

Zack: What's this gonna do?

Melissa: (Demonstrating as she does) Chew this gum, mix it in with the glue and stick it every gear, every wheel, everything that moves in this clock.

Zack: Okay, but I don't understand.

Melissa: (passes Milo and Zack the glue applicators) No time to explain! Just do it! (running) Come on CIDD (CIDD follows her), you're with me.

Zack: I guess we better do what she says. (Clyde, Milo and Zack do as Melissa instructs)

Meanwhile on the street nearby.[]

(Perry puts his foot on the handbreak, stopping Doof's inator. )

Doof: Perry the Platypus? What are you stopping me? I was doing good. Huh? (car alarm and shouting, horn blaring, a lamp post falls over) Oh! Did I do that? (Perry doesn't really answer, Doof starts the Inator to drive again) How can I ever become Professor Time, if I'm no good at being good?

Melissa: (CIDD is carrying her) Wait! There he is.

Doof: A robot carrying a girl. (stops) Wow, that fortune cookie was right.

Melissa: Dr D, we need your help!

Doof: Wait, someone needs my help? I feel important. (starts inator again, Perry holds onto his hat) Okay, let's go.

Inside O'Bessie[]

Doof: (outside) I'm coming to help! I'm coming to help! (crashes through wall whilst reversing with Perry holding tightly onto the light on the front) I'm here to help.

Melissa: (runs through hole with CIDD in tow) Dr. Doof, turn on your machine. It's go time.

Doof: Ooh, I'm part of something! (pushes on button on the inator, it's arms attempt to pull the gum off, pulling the gears around as it does) Wait a minute. What's going on? It's not working.

Melissa: No, it's working perfectly. We mixed gum with the glue so it wouldn't come off. (Victor and his guys come through the whole in the wall)

Victor: You can't win. You're almost out of time. In five..

Melissa: Four..

Zack: Three..

Doof: Why are we counting?

All: One. (The bell chimes, 5 and everyone bar Victor and his guys cheers)

Melissa: Thanks, Dr D.

Doof: All right, hooray for me! I'm not exactly sure how I'm helping people, but something involving a clock apparently, but I'm doing good.

Melissa: We all did good. Grandma Abigail would be so proud!

Victor: Ugh! I can't believe you ruined me again. Could this day get anyone worse? (rope near Milo snaps, sending a sandbag into Doof's De Gum Inator, which flings gum at him sending him flying.)

Danville Park[]

Substitute Teacher: Welcome to the 28th Annual Substitute Teacher's Conference. (Victor yells) Today's we're going to be- (Victor crashes into a tree, covered in gum) I hope you brought enough gum for everyone.

Victor: (Defeated) I did.

♪ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ♪

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