Finally getting back to the Kim Possible AU! This time, Melissa deals with asking her crush - Chad Mankey - to the Spirit Week Dance, but Drakken and Shego are unleashing another world domination plan at the same time. Will she be able to balance all this? Let's find out!
It was early October at Middleton High. The school marquee read 'Spirit Week - Dance Friday'. Inside, an awkward, weird, 16 year old embodiment of bad luck and chaos was digging through his locker, searching for his little not-so-furry friend.
"Chase? Chase? Here boy!" Milo called out.
"Maybe he's hibernating," Melissa remarked.
"Likelihood of that is 0 percent, MC. It's Spirit Week! If the little guy missed it, he'd be crushed!" Milo responded as the contents of his locker tumbled and he was tickled inside his shirt. Inside his pocket, he found...
"A naked mole rat...Milo, ever think about getting a normal pet?"
"Something NOT NAKED!"
"NEVER BE NORMAL! That's the Milo Murphy motto!"
Melissa was soon frozen, as if something was distracting her. Milo waved his hand in front of her face to try and get her attention.
"'Lissa? MC? Melissa Chase?"
No response. Milo then looked across the way, only to see who was distracting Melissa.
"Oh, it's Chad Mankey..." he said in a jealous tone.
"BLARGH! Mankey..." Chase responded.
Oh yeah, yeah!
I'm your basic, average girl
and I'm here to save the world
You can't stop me 'cause I'm
There is nothing I can't do
and when danger calls
just know that I am on my way (know that I am on my way)
Doesn't matter where or when there's trouble
If you just call my name
Call me, beep me
if you wanna reach me
When you wanna page me
Whenever you need me, baby
Call Me, Beep Me
if you wanna reach me
Call Me! Beep Me!
If you wanna reach me! (MELISSA!)
Doesn't matter where
Doesn't matter when
I will be there for you 'til the very end
In danger or trouble
I'm there on the double
You know that you always can call...
Melissa: So what's the sitch?
Call Me, Beep Me if you wanna reach me!
"Tone it down, Melissa! Someone might think you're crushing on Mankey!" Milo warned.
"ACK! Mankey..." Chase responded in a disgusted tone. Milo looked to his right only to find that Melissa had run off to talk to Chad Mankey. Unfortunately for Melissa, she got all flustered as Chad put up posters for the Spirit Week Dance.
"I can't even form a sentence around the guy! How am I gonna ask him to Friday's dance?" Melissa freaked.
"Ask Mankey? I don't know, Melissa. Wouldn't he feel awkward...with us?" Milo asked.
"What do you mean, Milo?"
"I mean we always go together..." Milo said to his best friend.
"Yeah...but that says 'just friends'. I was thinking more along the lines of..."
"OH HELL TO THE NO! I was thinking about lining up a...date."
Hearing the word 'date' startled Milo. He was hoping he and Melissa go together, as they always did. Milo thought he could do the same.
"So who are you gonna go with?" Melissa asked. Milo soon caught sight of Amanda Lopez, Melissa's second in command on the cheer squad. He ran after her, asking her to Friday's dance and sure enough...she said yes!
No sooner than that happened, Zack charged in. "Hey, guys! You would not believe how many hits the site's been getting! Everyone wants your help!"
Zack then pulled up all the hits Melissa's site had gotten. One of which involved cat-sitting. 7 days, 8 cats, 1 litter box...Melissa's site may say that she can do anything, but you gotta draw the line somewhere.
There was one hit that caught Milo's eye.
"Tokyo! I love the French!" Milo marveled.
"Tokyo's in Japan, Milo..." Melissa deadpanned.
"That one's an emergency!" Zack said. "I'll stream the security feed."
On the security feed, we see Drakken flying in with something and kicking out one of the cameras.
"Rewind and freeze, Zack!"
Tape rewound and frozen...
"Our archenemy...well, your archenemy. I don't think he even knows my name."
"Come on, Milo! Let's jet!"
"One question...how are we gonna get to Tokyo?"
"I'll phone a friend..."
"Melissa, this isn't 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?'!"
Melissa wasn't joking. Their ride...teen pop sensation Mandy Cypress!
"Oooh! Sweet ride!"
"Thanks for the lift, Mandy!"
"Melissa, it's the least I could do after you saved my Nashville show!" Mandy said to Melissa.
"That backstage fire was no big!"
"For you! It must be so nice not to be afraid of anything!"
"Uh, Melissa...I've seen you wrestle a shark with your bare hands..." Milo reminded Melissa.
"Yeah, what could scare you?"
"His name's Chad Mankey..." Melissa confessed.
"I always get so weird around him...can never form a full sentence around him..."
"Just go for it! What's the worst that could happen?" Mandy encouraged Melissa as they reached Tokyo. The scene of the crime - Nakasumi Toys. There, they met up with the company's President/Founder/CEO, Hiroto Nakasumi and his translator, Yoshiko Kiyoko.
"Ms. Chase, thank you and welcome to Nakasumi Industries headquarters. I am Yoshiko Kiyoko, translator for Nakasumi-san," Ms. Kiyoko introduced.
"What's the sitch, Ms. Kiyoko?"
"They've taken over our entire factory. All our workers are trapped!"
"200?" Milo asked.
"No, just 2. This is the most automated factory in the world."
Soon after talking with Ms. Kiyoko, Melissa and Milo worked their way to the gates of the factory. Melissa used her hair-dryer grappling hook to make her way to the roof. Milo on the other hand...lost his pants. He then lost his shirt before finally shooting himself up to the roof.
"That's weird...why would Drakken take over a video game factory?"
"No-brainer, MC! This factory makes the Swap - the most advanced graphics processor and gaming device in the world! It's not due to come out stateside until November! It's the must-have gift of the holiday season!" Milo explained. He then put the pieces together..."DRAKKEN WANTS TO STEAL CHRISTMAS!"
"Milo, I know my enemies...Drakken wants to take over the world."
They'd have this 'steal Christmas/take over the world' debate until they got inside the factory. Melissa then got out her compact, finding the hostages.
"What is it, MC?"
"Thought I saw a zit. False alarm!" Melissa said, closing her compact. "I'll free the hostages, you take care of Drakken. Take the Melissa-link and jack it in to the video."
"You mean I'm..."
"Aw...I'm always the distraction..."
Meanwhile, Drakken was working to obtain the assembly line, which was making Swap gaming consoles at a rate of 100 per minute.
"ARRRGH! Cartoons make my eyes burn!" Drakken growled. "Can't you turn that off?"
No response from the hostages.
"Put some greasy elbows into it!" Drakken barked as Shego came up behind him. "SHEGO! Never sneak up on me!"
"I wasn't sneaking!" Shego retorted.
"Ninjas make more noise than you!"
While that was going on, Milo had hacked in to the factory's video system and was broadcasting naked mole rat shenanigans!
"That's Melissa Chase's goofy sidekick!"
"I can never remember his name..."
While Milo did his thing, Melissa used her laser lipstick to free the hostages as Milo got trapped between the prongs of a forklift.
"YOU'RE CANCELLED!" Drakken retorted.
"MILO!" Melissa called out.
"Her I remember. So, Melissa Chase...you think to thwart my evil plan..." Drakken started, only to be hushed by Shego.
"Uh, newsflash, Drakken...any time you stop to blab about your evil plan...SHE WINS!" Shego warned.
"Good point..." Drakken inferred, snapping his fingers. On that cue, his henchmen hooked the assembly line to a helicopter and spirited it away to his lair.
"SOME OTHER DAY, MELISSA CHASE!"
"Quick, where's our helicopter?" Milo asked.
"We don't have one, Milo..."
The next morning, Melissa's dad was reading about his daughter's rescue of the Nakasumi employees. The minute Melissa mentioned Chad, Phineas and Ferb came in and mocked her.
"Oooh! MELISSA'S GOT A BOYFRIEND! MELISSA'S GOT A BOYFRIEND!" Phineas and Ferb chanted.
"You know...I oughta slug you Tweebs right here..." Melissa threatened as her twin brothers sat down for breakfast. She then mused on to her mom about Chad, telling her about her situation. Phineas and Ferb suggested sending an anonymous e-mail, routed through Sweden...only to be busted by their dad for doing the same to their principal.
"Melissa, telling a boy you like him is kind of like jumping into a really cold pool - deep breath then take the plunge."
That day at school, Melissa tried before cheer practice to ask Chad to the dance, only to be intercepted by her cheer rival - Candace Flynn.
"You don't mind if I watch, do you?"
"You...Chad...it's so obvious that you're crushing on him."
"Gonna ask him to the dance?"
"What's it to you, Flynn?"
"I think it's great..."
"Yeah...I get to see you CRASH AND BURN!"
"Maybe he'll say yes..."
"Maybe, but he's turned down girls higher on the Food Chain than you."
"I'm asking him anyway, Candace!"
"Go for it!"
"I will...after practice."
Right in the middle of attempting a Doghouse Pyramid, however...the Melissa-link went off. Luckily, Milo was right there watching the practice.
"Melissa! It's for you!"
It was Zack with a tip about the Nakasumi heist. Drakken had set up shop in an Alpine lair in Norway. Their ride - another old friend of Melissa's, Heinrich.
"So, any intel on Drakken's Alpine lair?"
"Nothing, MC," Milo told Melissa. "But I do have intel on Chad. Full name: Chadwick Wendell Mankey. So far he's declined invitations to the dance from the following: Maria Rodriguez, Courtney Martell, Julia Roberts...no relation...and Mandy Weaver."
"He spiked Mandy?"
"And Mandy spiked me! As did Maria, Courtney and Julia."
Heinrich dropped off our heroes at the foot of Drakken's Alpine lair.
"Thanks for the lift, Heinrich!"
"Melissa, you silly! It's the least I could do after you saved my village from that avalanche last year!"
"Didn't I help with that avalanche?" Milo asked as he and Melissa mounted their snowboards.
"YOU STARTED THAT AVALANCHE!" Melissa responded as the duo sped off. They found Drakken's lair quickly, but security was tight. "Talk to me, Zack."
"No question about it. This is definitely Drakken's newest lair. But security is too tight, I can't shut down the sensor beams...however, I could juice the frequency so you can see them!"
"Please and thank you!"
Sensor beams visible!
"Milo, we can't touch the red beams!" Melissa warned.
No need! Once Milo came into play, the sensor beams went offline due to Murphy's law! That allowed Milo and Melissa to break into Drakken's lair almost unseen. Once inside, they were cornered by Drakken's goons.
"I have NEVER been captured that fast! This is almost as embarrassing as cheer practice, MILO!"
"Embarrassing? Perhaps...but it did get us inside the bad man's lair."
While Melissa and Shego battled, Milo took out the henchmen with Melissa's knockout gas lip gloss. He then threw it back up to Melissa, who took down Shego with the exact same tactic...right as Drakken turned the stolen assembly line into an ultimate robot warrior. But according to the robot's schematics, Nakasumi-san programmed in an override switch...which just so happens to be on the robot's back.
"Good luck, Zack!"
While Milo and Melissa kept the robot occupied, Zack punched in possible passwords.
No dice. It hit him when he heard 'Konnichiwa'.
You're busted, Drakken!
"Game over, Drakken!" Zack called out as one of the robot's claws removed Drakken from the controls. The police arrived soon after and arrested him. Shego was not done as she took control, but Melissa tripped up the robot with her grappling hook and saved Milo by using her rocket skates. Shego was soon arrested alongside Drakken, another mission completed for Melissa Chase.
Now one more mission to complete...asking out Chad Mankey.
"Relax, MC. If you can defeat an international freakazoid, you can handle Mankey," Milo encouraged.
He's passing the gym now. 4 meters, 3 meters, 2 meters...he's on top of you, Melissa!
"Hey. Sorry about the banner."
"It's cool. New one's better," Chad remarked.
"Maybe I'll see it Friday night...perhaps I'll see you, too...with me?"
"Are you asking me to the dance?"
"I know...I sound so random right now."
"It's cool, Melissa. Pick you up around 7?"
"Cool! Oh, I better get Milo out from the janitor's closet first...he's taking Amanda Lopez to the Spirit Dance..." the ginger said, pulling her cursed friend out from the janitor's closet.
The Melissa-link went off during the dance, but Melissa paid it no mind. She had what she wanted...Chad Mankey. As for Milo...taking Amanda to the dance was a neat stroke of good luck for him. But he can't help but think about Melissa...if she's truly happy with Chad Mankey.
And that...is 'Crush'! 'Mind Games' is next, then 'Sink Or Swim'! SEE YA THEN! Remember...
IT'S MILO'S WORLD AND WE'RE ALL LIVING IN IT!