Last year marked the 30th anniversary of one of my favorite holiday movies - the Macaulay Culkin led comedy masterpiece 'Home Alone'! To commemorate that landmark anniversary, I'm putting Milo and crew in their own version of 'Home Alone', using some...strike that...ALL of Kevin McCallister's greatest hits! This will be based off of the first Home Alone movie, with my OC, Danielle Lopez (Amanda's older sister), joining in on the fun. This will take place between the crossover and 'Snow Way Out'. ROLL IT!
December 18th. 2015 - the last day before Christmas break at Jefferson County Middle School. The first 3 months of the 2015-16 school year have been eventful, to say the least; especially for Milo and Melissa. They made a new friend in Zack Underwood and learned a secret about him - he was in a boy band before moving to Danville. However, a girl came between them and his bandmates once treated him like a token, so he bailed on them. Everything with the Lumberzacks came to a head come the Battle of the Bands, which Milo, Melissa, Zack and Mort won.
Oh, speaking of Milo...his crush on Amanda was revealed during an extra credit opera assignment. Zack teased him about it, having known nothing about said crush until Melissa told him about it. Melissa on the other hand...well, she was a tad jealous, but hid it quite well.
Today, Milo and Zack were set to perform at the Holiday Choir Concert. And guess who's in the audience for this one? If you guessed Amanda, you'd be right!
"Zack, I'm way nervous..."
"Amanda in the audience?"
"Yeah..."
Zack gave a smile and nudged Milo. "You sure there isn't something between you and Melissa?" Zack teased.
"What? No...what ever would make you think that way?" Milo said defensively.
"Well, it's just that you two have known each other since you were kids, now Amanda just shows up out of nowhere come 6th grade and you just start crushing on her. I just thought that from watching Danny and Sam's relationship on 'Danny Phantom' that it would only be natural that you and Melissa would end up just like them."
Milo scoffed. "3 problems with your theory, Zack: 1 - I don't have ghost powers; 2 - Melissa's not a goth girl; and 3...this isn't a Nickelodeon show that was unfairly cancelled in 2007. This is real life. Sometimes things don't always go the way you want them to. So welcome to my life practically every day. Now come on, let's get this choir concert over with so we can get to Christmas break already."
Unfortunately for Milo...Bradley would play a prank on him, causing Milo to retaliate and end up humiliating himself in front of Amanda, in turn ending the show early. Backstage, Milo snapped and charged at Bradley, body checking him into the wall.
"THANKS A LOT, YOU BASTARD! YOU HUMILIATED ME IN FRONT OF AMANDA, NICHOLSON!"
"Hey! Not my fault you're a jinx! Besides, Amanda's too much of a perfectionist for you!"
As if being humiliated wasn't bad enough, now Bradley was rubbing his family curse in his face. That tore it. He and Bradley took to fighting and after giving Bradley a black eye, Milo's parents intervened.
"Milo, stop!" his mom Brigette called out.
"Yeah, Milo! This isn't like you to come to blows with someone!" his dad Martin added.
"Bradley started it with his prank! He humiliated me in front of Amanda! All he's ever done was cause me grief! He's been like that to me since 1st grade and I wanted to take my revenge!"
"Still, little brother...that's no reason to come to blows with him!" Sara chided.
"As soon as we get home, you're grounded for the weekend..." his mom told him.
Disgruntled, Milo walked out with his family. "You know, sometimes I wish I had the house to myself..."
Bradley felt proud of himself for getting the jinx grounded...until Melissa flipped him to the ground.
"You are a sad, pathetic little man, Bradley Nicholson..." Melissa remarked, defending Milo. Amanda quickly followed suit as she shoved Bradley into a pile of boxes backstage.
"Bradley, you are not a good hombre...not a good hombre at all..."
The weekend passed by without notice. That Monday, Milo and family were to set off on a family vacation to Orlando, which Milo didn't care for because he felt it contrary to the season. Milo's parents overslept and in their haste...forgot Milo and Sara. Come to think of it...all the parents on Milo's block overslept and forgot their kids!
"Parents overslept and left you too, Melissa?" Milo asked.
"Yep."
"Same here, Milo," Zack added.
"Danielle and I are in the same boat as you and Sara, Milo," Amanda said.
Just then, a newspaper smacked into Milo's face. The headline: 'Wet Bandits Manhunt Continues'.
"Oh no...not those squares again!" Milo freaked.
"What is it, Milo?" Amanda asked.
"The Wet Bandits are out of jail! They escaped Wednesday!"
"The Wet Bandits? Weren't they just a pair of bumbling movie villains from the 1990s?" Danielle asked.
"Not anymore," Melissa remarked. "Milo and I faced off against them 6 years ago in New York. Appears as though they've been hitting houses all across Danville since they've escaped and it looks like...we're next."
Everyone gasped at this revelation. Then, Milo got a plan.
"Well...time to take a page out of the 'Home Alone' playbook! I don't doubt they're gonna hit my place first, so let's get this rigged up and if I know 'Home Alone' the way I think I do...the crooks will come at 9 tonight."
Everyone met up in Milo and Sara's garage, where Milo revealed 'Operation HO HO HO' - a compilation of Kevin McCallister's greatest hits from the 'Home Alone' series. Amanda and Danielle would rig the living room and den; upstairs corridor would be rigged by Zack and Melissa while Milo and Sara would rig the basement and outside.
Recapping the traps...both outside entrances were rigged with icy steps; the basement had tar traps, a string pull lightbulb rigged with an iron at the other end, a blowtorch that would trigger when the back door was opened and a glue trap at the end of the staircase leading to the basement. In addition, the sink had been connected to an old generator, which would zap the user. The front door had been rigged by Amanda and Danielle to be searing hot with the help of an electric barbecue starter. In addition, the Lopez sisters had rigged the living room with Milo's toy cars and some old, easily breakable Christmas ornaments designed to deliver pain to the crooks. Melissa and Zack had rigged the upstairs corridors with paint cans and a fan that would blast chicken feathers on the unsuspecting victims. Along with it, Amanda and Danielle had rigged a toolbox with a string that they would pull to crash down on the bandits.
Oh, and for the piece de resistance, Milo had lined a rope from his room to his treehouse and brought a lighter with him. Kicker...the rope was soaked in kerosene. The rope being lit would be a signal for Melissa to cut the rope and let the bandits fall onto a jurryrigged seesaw, which would launch paint cans in the air and cover them in black and blue paint as Milo would launch a flare into the air as a signal to the police.
The clock soon chimed 9 PM...Harry Lime and Marv Merchants - the Wet Bandits - had arrived at Milo's place.
"Amanda, you're up first!" Milo called out. "You got your sister's paintball gun?"
"Got it right here!" the Latina perfectionist said to the class jinx, brandishing her older sister's paintball gun. "Danielle, you really need to rethink your hiding places."
"Next time, I'm hiding my paintball gun in my makeup drawer...even you know well enough not to go in there, Amanda..." Danielle snarked as everyone got set up.
The bandits went around to the side door, one of 2 with doors for Diogee. That's where Amanda and Danielle got set up. Amanda peered in through the dog door with her sister's paintball gun and shot Harry between the legs.
"Nice shot, sis!" Danielle cheered. "Let me have a shot!"
Amanda handed the gun to her sister, who then aimed at Marv's head. "Hello..."
BAM! Right in the head!
"...and Adios!"
Outside, the bandits freaked at seeing Amanda and Danielle armed with paintball guns. Marv went to the basement door while Harry went to the front. Problem...both were rigged with ice, so it was slippery going. Harry got burned by the door knob while Marv got nailed by his crowbar, got nailed by an iron and got zapped by the basement sink. Harry got caught in a glue trap and got blasted with feathers. Meanwhile, Marv made his way up the steps of the basement only to find himself getting nailed...literally...and getting caught in a tar trap.
With each trap sprung and each yelp of pain by the bandits, the kids couldn't help but laugh.
"Oh my gosh! This is hilarious!" Melissa laughed.
"Just like we did 6 years ago, Melissa!" Milo added in.
"But back then, the whole city of New York was your playground, Milo..." Amanda said to the jinx.
"And from what I heard from Melissa...you two sent the bandits plummeting to the street from 70 stories in the air," Zack finished.
"Melissa may have been exaggerating, but we did trap them in the Yankee Stadium batting cages!" Milo corrected. "Melissa, Zack, they're coming your way!"
Melissa and Zack ran upstairs, ready to throw paint cans at the bandits while Amanda and Danielle were ready with the string to unleash the tool chest. Milo and Sara were waiting outside ready to light the rope to Milo's treehouse. It was 2nd verse, same as the first.
"NOW!" Amanda and Danielle screamed as they pulled the string, sending the tool chest flying down the stairs and crashing into the bandits. The bandits then climbed up the stairs, only to be met by paint cans on strings as thrown by Melissa and Zack. Having had enough of the torment, Harry and Marv went into Milo's room, following Milo and Sara into Milo's treehouse.
"Get ready to burn..." Sara said with a sadistic grin on her face as she lit the rope. Once the fire met Harry and Marv, Melissa cut the rope just like she did 6 years ago, causing the Wet Bandits to fall onto the seesaw, launching paint cans into the air and covering the would be crooks in black and blue paint, knocking them out. Milo, having called the police on Sara's phone, launched a flare from his backpack as a signal. Danville Police were there almost instantly and arrested the bandits.
As Harry and Marv were escorted into the police cruiser, they vowed revenge on Milo and Melissa as the police sped off.
"Another Christmas in the trenches, another pair of bumbling bandits sent packing..." Milo remarked.
"It was your plan that got them caught, Milo!" Amanda cheered, pecking Milo on the cheek to which Danielle remarked...
"If you and Milo ever get married, I better be your Maid of Honor..."
How's that for a Home Alone 30th anniversary tribute? So begins the Milanda/Zalissa Arcs of this story...as much as I won't like writing these arcs, I'll have to do 'em for the teen angst. They'll continue in the next chapter so stay tuned and remember...
IT'S MILO'S WORLD AND WE'RE ALL LIVING IN IT!